By Kinsfire
Reviews
David posted a comment on Thursday 29th September 2005 10:10am
Another good chapter. I really liked the Diagon alley scenes and the final meeting with the Malfoys. Looking forward to what happens next.
Moses posted a comment on Thursday 29th September 2005 12:58am
Well, my daughter and her Fanfiction Club found your story this weekend past. I have during the past 3 days taken the time to read them at least two or three chapter each evening and have enjoyed the story considerably. The romance and angst at times reqired some explanations but don't worry as I am reading to seven thirteen-year-olds. So from the 8 of us "Kudos" and we are looking for to each new chapter as you post them.
Moses & The Lil' Spuirt's HP Fan-Club
Hagrid posted a comment on Wednesday 28th September 2005 7:44am
Well I for one am....A.) Glad to hear they are OK. B.) vowing never to read the Daily Plopshit again...and C.) Getting me best nrown hairy suit out for the wedding(s) A great chapter.
Adam posted a comment on Monday 26th September 2005 1:26am
A great story, hope the next chapter is soon :)
david posted a comment on Friday 23rd September 2005 4:51am
that was great keep up the great work and update agin a.s.a.p.
stu posted a comment on Tuesday 20th September 2005 5:09pm
good read, every mans fantasy, execpt i wonder will they...... Synchronize!!
David Thacker posted a comment on Tuesday 20th September 2005 4:53pm
I do think that harry and the others will forgive Ginny in time becuase Bill and Charlie are the only ones next to thier parents that could have told Ginny that Harry was unfaithful to her.If it was Ron , the twins or Percy she would not have belived it but Bill and Charlie.That is why I think Harry will forgive her in time.
bill posted a comment on Monday 19th September 2005 3:40am
wonderful story
Ken posted a comment on Sunday 18th September 2005 7:54am
Dear Keith,
thanks for not leaving us hanging too long - great chapter and developments. Can't wait to see how Harry takes out moldieshorts and B&C weasely with the help of his own 4 musketeers as general staff.
you and Dorothy are both fabulous.
Best Regards
ken
rodrigo posted a comment on Sunday 18th September 2005 4:26am
well what to say after chapter 10, for the first time ever i was preapre to write a really bad review with only bad words.
but as always i held my self back.
and then chapter 11 came, great work.
loved the part where the weaslies(the bad ones) came clean and all that and the way they tried to figuere out how to make up to him.
and the way you write Dung and the rest of the order leaving them as they did.
loved it, great written as always, loved every singel chapter.
Alorkin posted a comment on Sunday 18th September 2005 3:10am
You really managed to pull that one out nicely. Like Harry, I believed the advance copy. I was rather surprised you didn't make him go berserker. Instead the null emotions person was in many ways, even more disturbing.
With the Weasleys, with the exception of the unheavenly two, being pretty much rendered persona non grata(is?), by Bill's confession, I'd suspect they'd be scrambling to get Harry to forgive. As Homey D Clown says: "I don't think so!"
With the most likely suspect in the Prophet charmswork, to be Narcissa, I believe it's time to begin the party. As the Klingons say (Romans, actually) "Revenge is a dish, best served cold!" Oh, BTW, I agree with the way you wrote Harrys ideas of getting rid of ol' Voldyface, including his own sacrifice. Having been a soldier for a good portion of my life, i understand that ambushes are a common and effective method of eliminating an enemy in the muggle world. It's a matter of 'the good of the many...'. Please update this soon. I await your next post. Alorkin
Chris posted a comment on Sunday 18th September 2005 12:21am
The whole "prank" of the fake news article was handled extremely well. Harry’s reaction was believable as was his unwillingness to talk about his feelings regarding the girls’ deaths. Which, of course, led to the continuing misunderstanding of the others and their bewilderment as to Harry’s sudden death wish. Personally, I loved the fact that Dumbledore sounded as if he was in a panic once he read the charmed paper. That shows that he truly cares for Harry and knows what Narcissa’s end-game was.
As to Bill and Charlie’s confession, I liked the fact that the lie had grown so large that they were still embarrassed or down-right scared to admit that they had concocted the original lie. They obviously did not think that Harry would be so completely ostracized, but once it had begun they were too spineless to admit to their childish behavior.
A few things struck me as interesting with this scene. The first is that neither Bill nor Charlie even attempted to apologize or excuse their behavior to anybody. They simply admitted what they did; not a very effective way to attain atonement.
The next point was Ginny. Even with Bill’s testimony, she was still considering Harry to be the scum of the Earth. I appreciated the fact that she did not immediate realize her total and complete screw-up. Her utter destruction of any chance of a resumption of a relationship with any of the five was summed up with her gut reaction.
Another fun plot point was that Harry himself doesn’t even have to be the one who is aggressively antagonistic towards the Weasleys anymore; the whole of the Order was full of condemnation for the actions of the hypocritical family, including the Order members who had not previously been a vocal supporter of Harry and his version of the truth.
The only downside of the confession was that Hermione was not there as she wished. I would think that as much as Fred, George, Remus, and other members of the Order may hold a grudge against the Weasleys, the family had best watch out for Harry’s four girls when it comes to the revenge. Now that the truth is known, I wouldn’t be surprised to see the girls try and get at least a little bit of payback for Harry’s sake. His reputation at school and within the Order was completely destroyed by his once-friends. I could imagine the girls could attempt a bit of turn-about on Ron and Ginny.
Speaking of the girls, Harry’s confessions of love to them was quite well done and unique to each individual. I like how he shocked Pansy by his response to her statement. This showed that she has come to understand Harry’s nuances quite well. To me the best part was Hermione’s scene. I like how it was saved for last. Having Harry have his breakdown was necessary and he would have held it in as long as possible, so it was with the fourth girl that his emotions would have snapped. And since Hermione has known him the longest, the symbolism of her comforting him at this moment was perfect.
I do wonder if we are going to find out about the attack on the four girls. Was it an attempt to actually kill them, or merely a prank that got out of hand? I mean was Narcissa in on the planning, or did she take advantage of an opportune moment to torment Harry? Oh, and Harry might be done with Narcissa as far as his plans for payback, but I would imagine the girls would want to have something to say, seeing as her plan was to not only torment Harry, but to possibly drive him to suicide.
Anyway, a very emotional chapter handled quite deftly
Chris
shlomi posted a comment on Saturday 17th September 2005 11:06pm
great chapter!!!!!
i was really surprised that it came out so quick but in the end it was better for u becuase otherwise i would have harassed you until uou would have uploaded it
again great chapter
update soon!
wen posted a comment on Saturday 17th September 2005 7:20pm
Great story, question being how many chapters have been planned for?
Update soon!
gryffindors posted a comment on Saturday 17th September 2005 4:14pm
that's what i'm talking about, alittle less angst and alot more happy moments
you made my day, thank you.
Dave posted a comment on Saturday 17th September 2005 2:36pm
And here I thought it was maybe a 'disappearing trick' performed by the ladies!
William Fowler posted a comment on Saturday 17th September 2005 12:58pm
Okay... okay! So you're not an unmitigated !#$q#$! anymore. Great chapter... by the way... don't disinherit Narcissa, make her marry Remus. Then, on a full moon when he's angry.. "RIP, TEAR, SLICE!" she's dead!
William
Shawn Pickett posted a comment on Saturday 17th September 2005 12:38pm
And you were worried about howlers? You knocked this chapter out fast enough to make the last one barely a cliff hanger. Now on with the repentant arse kissing from the scum known as the rest of the student body at Hogwarts! Outstanding work Keith, thank you. Oh bye the way, interesting choice of names for Mr. and Mrs. Granger.
Mark posted a comment on Saturday 17th September 2005 12:09pm
Ooh, sneaky! Nice way to dance out of harms way there. The girls are alive, the Weasley's have been exposed as the turncoats they are and it looks like Harry has a plan to take out Tom and his band of buggerers. Woo hoo! Can't wait for the next part!! Definitely looking forward to the downfall of the House of Malfoy!
Christopher Estep posted a comment on Thursday 29th September 2005 11:29am