By Kinsfire
Reviews
Robin Westerly posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 12:32pm
whoopee!!!!
Bryan Sherrell posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 11:27am
Very nice, kepp it comeing
sasqch posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 10:56am
It was great to see an update to this story. A few points stood out as simply stellar.
I liked how Harry simply took over the Order without any fuss. It was amusing to see him play with the Weasleys simply by refusing to let the discussion divert from the brainstorming session. Although the simple dig about being married was perfect; the family will be wracking their collective brains trying to figure out which witch landed Harry. I also liked how both Albus and Severus worked well with the new leader of the Order. They took a skeletal plan and created something that is both feasible and believable in nature. I would be surprised if Tom doesn’t fall hook, line, and sinker for the trap.
I also loved the idea that Harry and Susan are the controlling body of Hogwarts now. Having Harry lay a simple trap for the egotists that comprise the Board of Governors is a truly nice touch. Rather than creating a huge issue, he basically paid tribute to his father and godfather. Allowing the idiots to dig their own graves was a prank worthy of a Marauder. And of course getting the extra digs into both Malfoy and his ass-kissers... excuse me, his supporters is always a good thing.
The train ride was another scene that was nice to see as well as being well crafted. The idea that the overly repressed Hermione is actually a bit of an exhibitionist is a great touch. It’s a simple and believable character aspect that adds a surprising depth to the character. It also creates the potential for some truly spectacular scenes. The hinted scene for a wild romp in the Hogwarts Library just screams to be written. I like that Luna was the first wife to be confirmed pregnant; and the selection of the girl’s name is again truly in character for Harry.
I also liked the symmetry that Harry and his wives had enough time on the ride to make sure that each person had their own personal time together. I would imagine that by the end of the trip, given their ability to share their feelings (as shown during the end of the last chapter) that the car's occupants were pretty much nearing overload. I wonder just how soon after dinner was it that the newlyweds retreated to their quarters to continue their activities?
As an aside, I also like how you "rewarded" Neville. Not only did he apologize for his sheep-like behavior from the beginning of the year, but he stood up to the most domineering person in his life. I can see Neville not quite believing he had the courage to stand-up to his grandmother the way he did. But with the potential of gaining Hannah as a girlfriend, you made sure to reinforce his character: he isn’t looking for a quick fling. Neville is very much an honorable soul, as shown by his actions. I thought it was quite fitting that both Neville and Hannah were the first of their peers to find out the true nature of the group’s new wedded status, and that they simply accepted it.
There was one point that I didn’t like. Ginny.
The rest of the Weasleys seem to be very much in shock still and trying to, well, weasel their way back into Harry’s good graces. They just don’t truly grasp just what they did to him. I do like the idea that Harry isn’t looking for a quick revenge. Firing Arthur out of pettiness would make Harry just as bad as the idiots who keep turning on him. Rather, having the Weasleys realize over time just what they cost themselves is so much sweeter.
But, Ginny’s adamant stance that they as a family were in the wrong and that they should not be doing anything to demand forgiveness strikes me a bit off. Yes, she is rightfully angry at Bill and Charlie. It was their lies that led the family down the path. But Ginny wasn’t pulled kicking and screaming down that path to abandon Harry. She was quite vocal in her attacks on Harry. Remember her statement that she was glad that James and Lily were dead? She also was refusing to accept the truth, once the elder brothers confessed their machinations. She demanded to know, if Harry wasn’t screwing Pansy, why the ring had Pansy’s name on it. That was a very short time before this scene. Given that this is the same little girl who set her sights on the "Boy-Who-Lived" and eventually nailed him, only to throw him away, her reversal in attitude comes across a bit too soon.
Compare her to the others in the family: none of the others had the same amount of emotional (and physical) connection to Harry. None of the others had received a pledge of love. She was just as abusive to Harry (and his wives) as all the others, if not more so. I realize that you are trying to give her some redemption, but it just rang false, given her isolated mature stance. The only good thing about her reversal was that you didn’t let the ghost of her possession come in to play as an excuse.
This is only a minor complaint, fueled by the fact that I think of all the Weasleys, Ron and Ginny should be the ones to bear the brunt of the offense. Yes, they are the youngest, but they are also the closest to Harry (and Hermione). They both willingly jumped to agree with their brothers’ claims. Neither asked for any proof beyond the ring. Coming from a large family myself, this blind acceptance that a best friend of six years (Ron) or the proposed fiancée (Ginny) just is unforgivable. The only reason that the two of them would accept the claim at face value, and then continue to harass Harry and his supporters, would be if they were looking for a fault to begin with. Maybe I'm reading too much into her screaming fit, but having her be the "mature" one just seems so contrary to her previous nature throughout this story.
You closed the chapter with the statement that you’re nearing the end of this tale (nooooo!!!). Personally, beyond seeing Voldemort being turned into kibble, there are a few things I would like to see yet get resolved. First, as you may have guessed, I would love to see the long-term repercussions the Weasleys face. And I personally think that Ginny, no matter what she does, should never overcome her loss. Hell, even if she were to be suddenly as mature and rational as you presented her in this chapter, she should realize that what she did is beyond forgiveness or even understanding. And don’t forget, the "sheeple", especially the rest of the student body, will turn on Hermione and Ron for "making them" alienate and antagonize Harry. Will the rest of the school decide to get revenge "for Harry" against the two in-school Weasleys?
I wonder also if there is going to be any sort of fallout over the disbanding of the Board of Governors? Will the Ministry sit back and allow this? They were the ones who forced Dumbledore to accept Umbridge after all.
And of course, will the newlyweds continue to find new and interesting places to explore each other? Like I said, the Library scene sounds like a hoot.
Chris
mark posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 10:20am
absolutly fantastic chapter and i cant wait for the next its great to see you working on this story again and hopefully the next chapter wont be so long in coming
Voldemort is Dead posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 10:18am
Good for Harry! I loved it when he put down Lucius!
Donald Deutsch posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 9:42am
Great chapter. Can't wait for the next one. Keep up the good work.
Tenko Ranchi posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 9:01am
Excellent chapter love the way it's going.
Nanio posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 8:58am
That was some shit... I like it. The Ginny thing is starting to show that she realizes the consequences of her actions... A nefarious plot to capture the enemy... passion on the hogwarts express (you never said they blacked out the windows after Harry and Hermione were done, which makes it better)... and the disbandment of the board of govenors... All in all, I'd say it was excellent.
MarkH posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 8:47am
This was a good chapter, but I want to cast my lot into your thinking processes and ask for something more creative and interesting to happen to Ginny.
And by, more insteresting, I am not talking about punishment either. I truly think she is being punished enough for her lost opportunity (as anyone who has love and lost will tesitfy). No, the cliche of her leaving her family just isn't right - maybe something a bit more obtuse if you know what I mean.
Love the train scene.
FenrisWolf posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 8:29am
Sounds like maybe, just maybe, Harry will have a fifth wife at the end. Of all the Weasleys (barring the twins who never went along in the first place) it seems only Ginny really learned anything from what happened. Glad to see this finally continuing!
Smargden posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 8:28am
Thank you,
I just come in, and have collekt the chapters,
I do reed in local mod - ( I can size the text to fit mee)
I do raplay to the text when I start reed, I did see e real cliffhangeer - and I'm glad I don't have to wait to the next.
(It was that wen the 4 kids was killed (according to the newspaper).
/Bill
James Benfield posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 8:18am
great chapter! Keep up the good work.
Mariposa posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 7:52am
Yea! great chapter and Luna was the first preggers! :oD That was a bit of a surprise. OK so I really liked them shagging on the train! What could all the other students have thought?!? :oD And I love that the Weasleys were "broken" and that Ginny is leaving them and accepting her fate now. There were so many good moments in this chapter. I love this story and I can't wait for more.
Exarikun posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 7:21am
fantastic!!!! at long last you updated the story. aaaah, i was begining to forget about it :s thanks for reminding me it's still around. keep it up and don't forget the other stories you have...
Nick5 posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 6:50am
Hahahahahahahaha! Finally, all of that pent up frustration that couldn't be taken out with sex (regardless how many times they tried) is taken out on the rightful people, the Board of Governers. It won't sit well with many, but screw 'em, this happened by the letter of the law, and they can't change it. Nice part, hope to see more, soon.
Shawn Pickett posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 6:40am
Bwahahahaha! That was outstanding! Harry really stuck it to those damned idiots. I'm dieing to see what you have next.
Amamama posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 6:40am
Love is true magic, that must be why they fall in love so fast. Wonder where this ends... will the orgy come sooner or later? At least they respect each other, and that's a great start.
Tumshie posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 6:40am
Another excellent chapter, I'd love to know how you can keep so many plots boiling at the same time. Your next update (whatever fic you decide to do) is eagerly awaited
Charles Slone posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 6:32am
*claps* bloody hell good story my friend, would love to see where this goes more
Musings of Apathy posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 1:04pm