Dervish posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 1:08pm

Ouch Slapped around by a mom who was never really involved in his life in the first place .....i felt his response was a little low key but then again i would like to think of harry being more angry

Ken Warner posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 1:03pm

so glad to see the new chapter - a quite lovely Christmas present from one of my favorite authors - things in the chapter weren't exactly all peaches and cream - Is there some sort of mood altering substance floating around the potions lab?? (kind of like how lead poisoning at low levels is supposed to intensify aggression and lower inhibitions, along with IQ and logical thinking) Or is this a side effect from the spells Dumbledork had on them??
some how the Saint Lily that has been a staple of canon and fandoms doesn't fit too well with the "witch" on stage here.

thanks for sharing, and I am anxiously looking forward to your next release, either on this work, one of your other WIPS or in the pro fic world.

warm regards and Happy New year

Salian posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 12:25pm

There is something seriously wrong with the formatting in this chapter making it impossible to read in a coherent manner.

sunrisesunset posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 12:00pm

“So she wins,â€

Is it just me? Formatting mishaps run rampant through this chapter. The previous ones look fine. Really distracts from what's going on in the story. :(

siaru posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 11:30am

Thank you for the delightful Christmas present. This is an update worth the wait!

Although it is customary for the author to introduce new characters, not the word processor...

DrT posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 11:16am

My, that's a different Lily! But believable, I hate to say. It will be interesting to see how you escape this corner, but I'm sure you will.

"T"

Jeremy Desat posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 10:53am

Good work... as always... I am always glad to see you putting out a new update... that aside, the formatting is screwed, at least for me.... and in this line:
"She was fifteen. Didn't you do anything at fifteen without thinking it through? Besides, since her error was pointed out, she's been trying to improve.

you had

"She was fifteen. Didn't you do somethinganything at fifteen without thinking it through? Besides, since her error was pointed out, she's been trying to improve.

Shawn Pickett posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 10:38am

WTFHH! Where did this one come from? I can understand Lily not being thrilled with Hermione, but this was way the frack over the top? I'm a little disappointed with Harry and Hermione at this stage with the whole bit about how Lily has one. After her actions in this chapter, it wouldn't be terribly difficult to have her fired, and frankly, the way she acted, she deserves to be. I would love it if Albus found out what happened and canned her, granted Albus is a twit in this fic, but he is determined to make amends, and certainly he might see this as a way to start. I'm sorry, no matter how you want to handle it, after Lily's actions in this chapter, the only realistic recourse I can see if for her to be fired. If I was Harry, I would seriously consider my options for getting out of her care at this point as well. At the very least, I would make it clear to her that after the events of today, that she is no better than Dursley, and that when he hits 17, he's gone and will have nothing more to do with her ever. I loved how he kept rubbing her nose in it about how much she was acting like Petunia. Maybe next time, he should throw in a line about how it was a shame she was no longer alive, as beating on Harry could have been a nice bonding experience for them as they both seem to enjoy it so much. I can't really say much more about this chapter, as my feelings on it will probably largely depend on what happens in the next few chapters, but I suspect that how you handle the events in this chapter will either make or brake this story.

Zaz posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 10:12am

What _is_ that charset?

It's not the declared iso-8859-1, or any of the european variations of iso-8859,
neither is it us-ascii, windows-1252, utf-8, utf-7 and certainly not utf-16.

...so what is it? This confuses me.

riegert8 posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 10:09am

This is really sad that Harry is starting to hate his mother as much as Petunia, I don't see there anyway that Harry could forgave Lily and what her in his life. Harry wish that his mother was alive and now he most likely wish she is gone

Melferd posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 10:04am

This is soe pretty extreme Lily behavior, isn't it? Who died and made her wicked bitch of the west? Really glad to see more story, thanks for writing it!

Zaxxon posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 10:02am

This seems to be filled with "smart quotes" I'm seeing â€" instead of ".

Jonathan Northwood posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 9:54am

I love the chapter, but it looks like the quotation marks are a bit bolluxed. They're coming through as "“" for the beginning, and "†" (including the spaces) at the end.

It's good to see you writing again. :)

James16 posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 9:43am

Hey, You might want to fix the formating on this chapter.

Exarikun posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 9:18am

the " marks show up as this: “
maybe a good idea to find out why, it reads very annoyingly like this...

Ben Russell-Gough posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 9:04am

Now this is interesting and, as far as I know, unique. Every other author who has attempted this plot or story device has made Lily out to be perfection itself. You give us an aggressive, impulsive and opinionated woman, far too like Petunia Dursley for comfort's sake.

The thing is that the Lily in this story would not be satisfied with Harry stopping dating Hermione. She won't be satisfied until Hermione is destroyed and that will be the fulcrum on which Harry's relationship with his parents will turn. If James or someone else can talk her down, then things will be hard but might ultimately be saved. If Lily cannot be dissuaded then Harry will see her as an enemy to be destroyed as totally as Voldemort.

NOW you've got me panting for further updates!

BenRG's Rating: 8.5/10 <- Bonus half-point for doing something unique

foreceflow02 posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 8:51am

I'd suggest altering it so that the quotation marks show up as quotation marks instead of “ and â€

Frank Hacklander posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 8:40am

Some odd things going on with punctuation, but it's good to see that you have returned to this story. I am not sure that your characterization of Lily is entirely convincing, although I suspect that you would attribute this to all the time that James and she spent alone together or to the fact that she is jealous of Hermione's relationship with Harry. Still, it doesn't work for me. Still, it will be interesting to see if she changes (whether due to a Voldemortian catalyst of James's efforts). I'll stop here, hoping the next update comes more quickly than this one (one can hope).

dennisud posted a comment on Sunday 2nd December 2007 4:06am

Nicely done so far.

I can't wait to see more!

dennisud

Phil Boswell posted a comment on Monday 26th November 2007 1:58am

As I believe I said elsewhere: nice start, where's the rest of it?

An interesting angle to take...and I have to say I couldn't see the join between your work and the original author's. Maybe if I went back and looked carefully...but that's the point: I didn't notice while reading.