Chi Vayne posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 6:11pm
Harry can't go the the Death Eaters for help, obviously. Is the Ministry under Dumbledore's control as well? If not, and Fudge really does dislike Dumbledore, there may be recourse there. Otherwise, he'll have to stay out of England and probably Europe as well. If he could make it to North America or Austrailla, he might be able to disappear at least for a while. Just long enough to let Voldemort kill Dumbledore.
Dumbledore, I think, made a mistake by not having one of his supposed 'friends' sympathetic to Harry. Then Harry may have gone to that person when he ran. As it was, Harry saw no allies, so he went off on his own, leaving Dumbledore no way to trace him.
Alex00 posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 5:57pm
nice start keep it up.
david bullock posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 5:55pm
Oooo...I'm liking it already. It is always nice to find a nicely written evil Dumbledore. Keep up the good work.
Shadow High Angel posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 5:44pm
Great first chapter, love Harry's new attitude, and that Hermione atleast was under the imperius, can't wait to read more and see what the Ghomes are like.
Hypochondriac posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 5:35pm
Interesting. So Hermione was forced to do what she did. Wonder if the same happened to Ron. I would say her best chance of getting a message to Harry is to use Dobby. Other then that only thing to do is wait for classes to start
RandyD posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 5:28pm
looking forward to more chapters...i would like to see it continue...
Oment posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 5:20pm
If nothing else, this is a new twist for an overdone clichÃ©. It's still one, but there's a few cracks in the faÃ§ade. You did just about kill nearly every companion (Tonks, Ginny, Hermione, Goblins) that Harry somehow ends up having in most of the stories...
I have a feeling I don't see Harry accepting Hermione's apologies and Imperius excuse. Perhaps throw a Death Eater reference in there?
As a native Dutch, I do have to ask: Where did you get that name from? To my ears, it sounds about as old-fashioned as the name of my late grandmother - and she was from 1917.
justblaise posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 5:15pm
Why do you persist?
naraic posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 5:11pm
You posted this somewhere else didn't you cause it seems very familiar
Tabi posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 5:09pm
Dammit Kinsfire, I was glad you didn't post this. Now you did. The sheer horror! The cliche! The gods damned cringiness! MY EYES!
Wolfric posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 5:08pm
Well it is a good start. I am glad to hear from you again. Thanks for writing. W.
folken77 posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 5:07pm
Well, this seems like a good start to a well used cliche, I specially liked the idea that the goblins will not suddenly fall over themselves to help Harry as I see in every other fic with this premise. I just hope, really hope, that no matter where or what your Harry will go/do, he doesn't go back to Hogwarts. I mean, he already KNOWS that Dumbledore is out to get him, so to go back to his 'place of power' would be the greatest example of stupidity since the last Darwin Award.
Best wishes on your story.
wolfkin posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 5:07pm
Yay! New story! ^_^ (happy clapping) Different so far from the others like this I've read in that the goblins are jerks too. Should be fun from here, though. Can't wait to read it. Oh, but... Pookie-pie? o-O O-o
James Barber posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 5:05pm
Like It? Hell Yeah I like It! in fact I definitely want more, so this was a nanonano thingy I take it probably been awhile ago since it was written, well whatever bring it on....we're (your fans) are definitely waiting for more....in fact I nearly fell out of my chair when you updated, then taking into account that jeconais updated not long ago, damn, ya'll trying to give us a heartattack!
jdcox61 posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 4:55pm
Seems pretty good. I've been looking for a new Betrayal story to read, and Dumbledore is a punk. Good work!
scribbler posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 4:51pm
YES, I like it. Your writing has always been superior to pretty much everything else out there, with the possible exceptions of Jeconais (Tim) and Miss_AnnThropic. I want to see this story completely filled out and I look forward to your next chapter.
Jeffrey Meehan posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 4:41pm
It seems a little bit on the cliche side but i am really interested in where you are going to take the story. I hope you put some sex in it your one of the best I've seen. It is good to see you writing again in any case. I thought you were dead. Please update anything on this site as soon as you can please.
RobF posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 4:33pm
Good start. I can't wait to see where it goes from here.
Seeing the goblins acting like bastards instead of giving Harry everything he could possibly want is a nice departure from normal fan-fic. Although I was left curious why they would be helping the head-master?
I also liked Harry getting caught during his first escape attempt. It made him using his intelligence on the second attempt more believable. Most fics have him using his head right away.
The last section with Hermione and her parents was a really good hook, I really want to find out if she ever makes it up to Harry.
SasparillaX posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 4:28pm
One more thing; have u ever seen "the fugitive", or "enemy of the state"? That kind of manhunt on Harry would be interesting, to say the least. If you're going in that direction, that is. grtz
SasparillaX posted a comment on Wednesday 20th January 2010 4:25pm
I like the beginning. Although meeting Kaatje was a bit (a lot, actually) too good to be true. Why didn't you let him mess around, trying to lay low and stuff? Just like Hermione conveniently breaking the imperiuscurse. One of the most feared curses, placed on her by one of the most powerful wizards in Britain... It just sounds unlikely. I'd say if you make the story less hurried, it'll be much beter and realistic. I hope my english made sense to you. grtz SX