Content Harry Potter Trixie Belden Star Trek: TNG My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Reviews

  • Previous
  • Next

james73 posted a comment on Friday 22nd January 2010 7:17am

You really need to improve your writing.The dialogue is just "telling", the plot unoriginal,everything Harry does is just too easy and everyone seems to be accommodating a complete stranger.I could tell you a lot of phrases that made me eye roll but there are too many.Get a beta and don't make everyone help Harry from the goodness of their hearts.Where's the motives,where's the realism?Read some more fanfiction and get ideas about your style.It needs a lot of polishing.With all that being said,I would really like to see the idea executed sometime correctly.

windscar posted a comment on Friday 22nd January 2010 7:05am

Glad to see you still writing. I'm enjoying the plot and am looking forward to see what happends in the first encounter between Harry and Hermione, hopefully a good one ;). Can't wait for Harry to give those traitors get their comeupins. Hope Bill, Charley, Fred, and George are on Harry's side.

Keep Writing

prateek91 posted a comment on Friday 22nd January 2010 6:44am

Good work on this chappie!!

LordNemesis posted a comment on Friday 22nd January 2010 3:50am

My friend if you make this a harem story here are two for Harrys girls. Hermione, and most defiantly Heidi!!!!! And I love harem storys. More story please its great.

katrina posted a comment on Friday 22nd January 2010 1:58am

Another chapter already - wonderful. So Harry has moved on - looking forward to Dumble's turning up and finding out how deep Remus is in it

Potter Thinker posted a comment on Friday 22nd January 2010 1:06am

NICE! But really, make sure Harry gets laid soon okay?

Carol Layland posted a comment on Friday 22nd January 2010 12:13am

You really are one of my very favorite authors. I have spent the entire day up on your new site and now this very lovely chapter to add to Betryal. All I can really say is Thank yu so very much for a very enjoyable day.
Clayva>Carol Layland

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Friday 22nd January 2010 12:07am

Heh, an interesting time for Harry as he meets a most interesting companion. I daresay there's more to her than we've seen so far. It'll be interesting seeing what machinations Dumbles and company employ next. Onthe other hand, if Harry's case does allow the gnomes to crack the wizarding Britain banking world, ALbus might start getting a lot more surly service from the goblins.

Fenris Ulf posted a comment on Thursday 21st January 2010 11:19pm

Thanks for another chapter!
There were a few sections where I wasn't 100% sure what was going on but I held on and enjoyed the ride :)

Can't wait for more

Mionefan posted a comment on Thursday 21st January 2010 9:53pm

An extremely good start. Looking forward to more. I'm thinking a H/Hr ship but it'll be interesting how you get them together. Seems I've seen something like this before.

Tira Misu posted a comment on Thursday 21st January 2010 7:50pm

Awww, Harry's so sweet!!!!!

Anthony May posted a comment on Thursday 21st January 2010 7:49pm

Nice quick update...what more can an avid reader who is a fan want? Great chapter. I hope the next update is just as quick. Keep it coming!!!

hervs posted a comment on Thursday 21st January 2010 7:04pm

I love your story, update soon, and keep up the good work, love the way Harry is mature and not goes around acting like a hot headed teen

Lee Dickie posted a comment on Thursday 21st January 2010 7:04pm

Great writing with an interesting development of the banking system.

slashslut posted a comment on Thursday 21st January 2010 7:03pm

i hope harry meets kaatje and the gnomes again and comes up with a plan to protect himself and get back and dumbles and his former friends, especially the weasleys. grrrrrrrr!

Wolfric posted a comment on Thursday 21st January 2010 6:52pm

Good chapter. Harry is going without for a while if he is sticking to his modis operendi. Thanks for writing. W.

HarnGin posted a comment on Thursday 21st January 2010 6:36pm

That chapter was much too short! Seriously, you have me hooked. Sending Harry on the road can be a disaster, but so far, your story is succeeding.

Keep up the good work; I'm looking forward to reading Chapter 3.

ben_stanislas posted a comment on Thursday 21st January 2010 6:21pm

You're sure you never post it before? The story (and not the plot as it's a classic) seems familiar.

Nick5 posted a comment on Thursday 21st January 2010 6:14pm

Well, it's nice that he's at least meeting people who, when they f*ck him, it'll be the pleasurable kind as opposed to the kind he is used to.

Nice stuff. *ponders Harry learning what a FAE bomb is and it's uses...*

James Barber posted a comment on Thursday 21st January 2010 6:07pm

WoW, another interesting chapter, like what the gnomes are trying to do and that deal he cut with them is brilliant, but what about the money that was stolen from him will they try to get that back or some of it anyway...oh and one last thing, his morals while I understand them I think they are mostly their because face it before you actually have sex for the first time, the actual ideal of having sex with a girl or woman is downright scary!!!