IceBlades posted a comment on Sunday 3rd June 2007 2:19pm for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

gee, who on earth could be the new potions teacher...hmm? Lilly perhaps? and James as co-DADA teacher??? we shal see, eh?

I can't wait!

dogfoot75 posted a comment on Sunday 3rd June 2007 11:32am for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

I agree with Crys' comments, so I won't reiterate them.

However, I still think that there's too much Harry and not enough ensemble. This was an ensemble fic; leave Harry alone and let's get to the other players too.

Much better than the first run- around.

amysds posted a comment on Sunday 3rd June 2007 11:02am for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

I loved the chapter the last time you uploaded, but going in and reading the reviews - it makes sense about switching the flirty Hermione around to before she knew about her parents. Honestly I didn't even think about it to much at first then...yeah. So just to let you know, your doing a great job with the story and I'm glad that you look at the reviews and actually pay attention to what some say. Though some could be nicer when they say it! Also with Amelia Bones, it doesnt necessarily have to be polyjuice right? Assuming that the head of law enforcement can throw of imperious, than wouldn't a simple mind-weakening potion - taken once -lower her mental sheilds enough to let imperious take hold. Then while under the imperious be told to take more of the potion daily so she can't fight it off when the potion is wearing off?

amysds posted a comment on Sunday 3rd June 2007 10:54am for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

I loved the chapter the last time you uploaded, but going in and reading the reviews - it makes sense about switching the flirty Hermione around to before she knew about her parents. Honestly I didn't even think about it to much at first then...yeah. So just to let you know, your doing a great job with the story and I'm glad that you look at the reviews and actually pay attention to what some say. Though some could be nicer when they say it!

Princess Fictoria posted a comment on Sunday 3rd June 2007 6:15am for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

nicely done

Crys posted a comment on Sunday 3rd June 2007 12:35am for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

The rewrite did smooth things out.

Hermione's emotional state is more clear, Amelia's condition is now more confused (which is better than thinking that she's been a blind bigot before), and just a little more tension between Molly and Lily. That fight, BTW, is one that I'm honestly looking forward to.

That teasing in the carriage . . . I didn't see anything wrong with Harry's words. He was a little more forward than usual, but his explanation makes sense. As an aside, I'd suggest that he does indeed backslide (in word or action) on and off. He's consciously trying to be "adult" here. If he slips later and acts his age again, it goes a ways toward keeping him looking IC. Not suggesting he do something blindingly stupid, but just act like a teen in a stressful situation. Anyway, enough suggestions.

The H/Hr ship is toned down. The multiple-family alliance is being set in granite. Amelia's mental state has been thrown into question. AD is recognizing reality and starting to act in accordance to it. Snape has been smacked around (with more coming). Malfoy has been put in his place and given his yearly warning.

Looking forward to more.

in-kinsfire posted a comment on Saturday 2nd June 2007 11:43pm for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

I didn't really notice what changed.

Patches posted a comment on Saturday 2nd June 2007 2:05am for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

Thank you for finally having Severus punished for his actions. He deserves whatever he gets for the things he has done. I like the changes in this chapter. It makes a much clearer picture. I like the new, more mature Harry. I look forward to the rest of this story. pms

Banner posted a comment on Saturday 2nd June 2007 12:44am for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

* deep breath *
That was intense! Your portrayal of Snape was nothing less than masterly. His thoughts make my skin crawl.
Oh, Albus. I feel such sympathy for that old man, but you make sure that we never lose sight of the evil he has done.

Fishburne posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 12:13pm for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

okiedoke - having read both versions, this flows much smoother, not to mention a touch more in character with the original. Still has some lovely Kinsfire bits, and yes, a bunch more Neville (go Longbottom 3!). Not sure about Hermione's lack of reaction yet. Liked the bit with Susan about Madam Bones, could this be a stunt with Polyjuice and umbitch? wondering when that part will turn out. Loved the High Dudgeon and girlish snit. Still think Dumbles is a bit too sympathetic, especially since the original character was more or less confused by his own actions and his distict desire to believe he had no other choice and/or a lack of responsibilty, because after all, he is Dumbles the Great.

Kins, my good man, thank you for this loverly chapter thingy, and may all your gold flow and not get stopped up, requiring a rather painful trip to the doctor to get the bits unblocked.

Fish

A Founding Member of the Longbottom 3.

TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 11:46am for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

Good chapter.

gunny

Turtle posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 11:41am for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

Wow. Just, wow. If that wasn't the final nail in the coffin of Dumbledore's 'for the greater good' motive, I don't know what was. Though, I think we could've used a bit of a scene with Dumbledore 'sitting in the corner, thinking about what he did'. It was perfectly great without it, but I could have used a little more insight into his introspection; it seemed a little too quick given that Dumbledore can be more stubborn than a Weasley when it comes to admitting he's wrong.

Definitely an interesting way to get Snape out of the picture. I think Snape's reaction was spot on. I would have been truely dumbfounded; liked the reinforcement with his internal monologue on the walk to the headmaster's office.

Also, taking Snape out of the picture is a good way to keep Harry (and likely Hermione, too) from hexing Snape in a effort at some retribution sometime during the school year. Wonder how Malfoy and the Death Nibblers will react to losing their teacher-ally.

I wouldn't put it past Voldemort to break Snape out; if only to inflict his own brand of punishment for being stupid and losing his place as 'spy in the Order'.

Can't wait to see who you bring in to replace Snape; if it's Slughorn, Dumbledore will have his work cut out convincing him to come out of retirement without Harry's help... I really doubt that Harry would go for it and James, Lily, et al. would likely seriously recommend against it. Maybe, in light of that, Lily would be willing to help herself? Slughorn does have a soft-spot for her. Then again, an original character may be even better, given where this story has gone.

-Turtle

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 11:37am for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

I like this updated version. I do, a little, feel sorry for Albus in that a whole heaping helping of fecal material is falling on him, and hitting the rotary impeller, all at once.

I note no confirmation of the actual death of Hermione's parents, just a strong presumption. We can hope that it is an erroneous presumption.

'Twill be interesting to see how Narcissa and Draco take to Harry being head of the Black family; I can see that putting quite a kink in things for them if he decided to play that way.

LoggingInSucksAss posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 10:38am for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

Now that is a chapter to be proud of! It could be argued that Hermione and company still weren't showing quite enough grief, but I think you nailed the characterizations here.

It wasn't a stereotypical Kinsfire characterization, but as much I like that kind of story I don't think that type of lightheartedness really belongs here. I think this chapter was perfect.

Thank you!

morriganscrow posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 10:34am for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

That was an inspired redo.
I was so pleased to see the lingering effects of Hermione's grief, and the confrontation with Draco was priceless.

john2 posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 9:24am for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

A much better chapter, but the sexual banter in the midst of the obligatory Malfoy makes threats on the Hogwarts Express scene were:

a) out of character;

b) trite;

c) glaringly Kinsfire, when you're continuing another writer's story.

Other than that, the continuity and characterization were better.

J (Kokopelli)

James Barber posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 9:11am for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

Great change but you left out one hell of a part from the first draft, the one where Lily and Hermione are talking about boys in general and Harry in particular and where Lily states to Hermione that she he works her up, hot and bothered then horny!

Unless you put in in a chapter earlier, I'll admit I just reread the last two chapters not the whole thing again!?!

BJH posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 6:03am for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

I find it interesting that no one has yet pointed out that, rather than seeking to fulfill the prophesy in the most efficient way as Albus claims, what he was actually doing was trying to control it, to use it as a weapon as he used Harry. Couldn't the prophesy have been equally fulfilled if Harry, thanks to the love and support of his family, struggled with the responsibility of the prophesy until he matured enough to fulfill it? That would have met the requirements nicely. Or perhaps the rigorous training required of an Auror plus the added training from Dumbledore and other wizards could have been the adversity Harry overcomes? The prophesy could have been fulfilled in any number of ways. Albus did not seek to fulfill destiny but to control it. Hubris in the tradition of the best greek tragedies. His position, and therefore his justification for his actions, is fundamentally flawed and I wonder if anyone will point this out to him? It could be fun if it was Severus who finally gets through with this point at his trial.

BJH

Oldwolf posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 5:28am for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

Hmm...... Polyjuice perhaps? That could certainly explain the discordance between Susan's knowledge of her aunt and the person who spoke to Tonks. If that was instead Umbridge pretending to be Madam Bones it would certainly go a long ways towards explaining her behavior. It should be a crime for someone to impersonate the Head of MLE, especially in the office, though I doubt anything would come of it.

gadriam posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 3:27am for A Swiftly Changing Landscape

..And the Kinsfire touch announces itself in vivid primary colours and the scent of chocolate and vanilla. The difference is noticeable, but since the storyline changes direction a bit with the return to school, it flows.
Thoroughly enjoyable.

g