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I never thought that the hardest part of my life would be after Voldemort was dead for all time.

Tom was defeated? Yep. He's pushing up daisies right now. Damned ugly ones, too. Sorry, just an attempt at some bad humour

How about my friends? Did they all survive? I can hear you out there asking that. Let’s go through them one by one. Well, two by two, I guess, because we did all pair off.

Ron? He’s alive and married, already has three children in a little over two years. Apparently Luna is as fertile as the Weasleys are, so Molly's happy, about that at least. They are, naturally, all boys.

Molly's certainly happier with Ron and Ginny than she is with me, for multiple reasons. One of the reasons Molly still won’t really talk to me is that Ginny ended up coming along with us during that stupid Horcrux Hunt. She would not listen to us when we said that she should return and make Molly happy.

We were also joined by Luna and Neville, who came to find Ginny when she disappeared. We all traipsed the continent and United Kingdom trying to find those thrice damned Horcruxes.

As we traipsed (fun word, isn’t it?), we got to know each other better. The months together helped Ginny and I realise that, while we were always going to be able to be friends, if we tried to be lovers one or the other of us would have ended up in Azkaban for killing the other.

The make up sex was great, though, before we finally gave it up as a bad job. Then we just moved on to being friends with benefits for a while. Made things a lot easier between us.

The fights between Hermione and Ron, however, reached a point where they no longer could even get to the make up sex, and their split was spectacular. I was glad that we had warded the campsite within an inch of our lives, or else they’d have drawn everyone for several miles.

The argument finally ended when Ron said something that I simply will not repeat here, and stormed off. Luna stood and told me she’d go after him, since we still needed his wand for our work, and I was about to kill him. (I was, too. Literally.)

Neville and I spoke with Hermione until she'd calmed down enough to not punctuate all her sentences with sobs, and then he went off to sleep while I continued to talk to Hermione. It was during that late night conversation that I finally realised something — as much as I had enjoyed being with Ginny, I had been with her because I couldn’t be with the person I really loved.

I hadn’t known I loved Hermione until we talked that night, mind you, and I didn’t tell her about my epiphany. (Bad form, you realise. "You’ve just broken up with the man you’ve been pining over for years; too bad. Oh, by the way, I love you." Not happening.)

Ron and Luna re-entered the camp and headed for his tent (the slightly larger of the two of their tents), obviously deep in conversation, which is the only thing that kept him from having me shove his teeth down his throat until they’d impacted his balls.

Hermione and I continued to talk until morning, and at some point she leaned back against me and pulled my arms around her waist. I so wanted to nibble that ear so close to my lips, but … well, see my comments about ‘bad form’ above.

Just as it was getting to be full daylight, Luna exited Ron’s tent, wearing a good deal less than she had the night before. As in only the clothes God gave her. I will admit to enjoying the sight, and I poked Hermione in the back. I don’t think I need to explain further, do I?

She chuckled and said, "She is rather nice to look at nude, isn’t she?"

I must have been far more tired than I thought at that point, because I actually said out loud, "I'd rather see you nude."

She somehow managed to spin around in my arms to look at me, her eyes wide. They widened more when she realised just how close to a certain part of my anatomy her face was, even with cloth in the way. Her eyes sparkled for a moment, and then she did the one thing I would have bet my entire family inheritance on her not doing — she carefully kissed the bulge in my trousers. "I promise that I’ll help you deal with that shortly, Harry."

As Neville exited his tent with a bemused expression on his face, followed almost immediately by Ginny, who was dressed the same as Luna was, it became obvious that this one night had been a major turning point for all of us. Relationships had been totally redefined.

And then I damn near passed out when Hermione decided that she was overdressed, compared to the other girls, and got naked right in front of me. Which naturally made my, er, problem even more pronounced if that was possible.

I gulped, pried my eyes from Hermione to look carefully at Luna and then Ginny, and said, "I have been talking with Hermione all night, trying to help her with the problems that your shit-for-brains brother caused. Neither of us has slept, and I for one am in need of a few hours of sleep before I can even begin to think of hunting for more of Tom’s shrivelled soul. Good night, or day, or whatever the hell you want to call it."

What I really wanted was to get into my tent and deal with the little problem the three ladies had caused — but mostly Hermione when she’d stripped. My God, that girl has a perfect arse! Not to mention perfect breasts, and well... perfect everything, come to that.

I even locked the tent behind me.

But I forgot, in my haste, that Hermione is the most brilliant witch of our age. As I was stripping, I suddenly heard footsteps, and spun to face the still quite naked Hermione. And I was pointing at her without using my hands, which were still holding my trousers.

I didn’t sleep for a while, and we redefined our relationship yet again. Er, okay that's an understatement. It was more like: Wow, did we redefine our relationship!

After we'd destroyed the Horcruxes (and managed to save the vessels from destruction, mind you, thanks to my beautiful girlfriend, which led to a pretty sum of money from Hogwarts when it was realised that we had Founder’s memorabilia), we went our separate ways to start our own lives. Oh yeah, there was that little problem with Riddle that we dealt with as well, but I'm not going into that, it isn't pretty.

Ron and Luna went back to Ottery St. Catchpole, as I mentioned earlier, got married, and have stayed in contact, although Ron and Hermione are, at best, acquaintances now — the Trio is gone forever. Some things you can’t take back, no matter how contrite you are. He learned a lesson, though — he always thinks things through now when he gets mad. Losing Hermione taught him that.

Neville and Ginny also got married and have started a family, although Ginny is trying to take it slower. Only one pregnancy so far, but it was triplets. They’re both deliriously happy, which somehow seems to escape Molly Weasley. She had her heart set on me marrying Ginny, and I ruined her plans. I'll never understand that woman.

I love the rest of the family (even Percy, once he explained why he’d acted the prat — he had been recruited by the Unspeakables as an agent, since they did not trust Fudge in the slightest), but I can do without Molly. We see each other at gatherings, since Ron and Ginny refuse to not invite us to important things. Molly is cool to me, and I return the favour.

But that leaves Hermione and me. We returned to her parents’ home just in time to discover that Frank Granger had decided to turn in his wife for a younger model. A receptionist at the clinic where they worked.

The divorce wasn’t pretty, let me tell you, and it really hurt Hermione. I decided to stay with Hermione and Jocelyn (as her mother insisted I call her), to help both ladies through this difficult time.

That’s where my problem has developed.

Jocelyn is as smart and beautiful and sexy as her daughter.

Can you guess what’s happened as far as my emotions are concerned?

If you guessed that I’m now in love with my girlfriend’s mother, you win the Kewpie doll. (I think that’s the saying. Never went to a carnival in my life.)

I’m still madly and passionately in love with Hermione, mind you, but now Jocelyn does the same things to me that Hermione does.

Right down to the interesting blood flow problems.

I hate my life some times.

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