CRose posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 10:54pm

This was a lot of fun to read. As a NaNo WriMo story kind of surprised to see that your ending it this early though. You still have two weeks to add more to it. :P

Amamama posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 10:22pm

Finished? That's too bad, I would so love to see how Harry rebuilds the wizarding government. And what kind of help they get from Benjamin Franklin.

Anyway, Harry is incredibly strong - it's a good thing that that one Auror disagreed with the desecration, as that obviously saved his life. And you have to wonder about the (dead) Aurors' ability to think for themselves. Seriously. People are so sheep sometimes. In RL too.

It's been a great, fun journey. I look forward to the proper rewritten one, when it surfaces, but this has been a great ride. Thanks a bunch! I would love to see what happens in the future, though. A happy, safe wizarding world where love flows strong and polygamous marriages are the rule rather than the exception? Families with several mums and dads living together? I can always ponder the idea, if you don't write it. ;-)

Thanks for sharing!
Berte

Christopher Estep posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 9:56pm

Oh, crap. Talk about the absolute *worst* possible punishment for Harry; being forced to actually *do* the rebuilding of the Magical government (something he most assuredly did NOT want!). Harry makes history three different ways: youngest Minister for Magic (remember, he's all of twenty-two), third consecutive interim Minister (remember, neither Umbridge *or* Scrigemour stood for election), and the first post-split Minister appointed by the Prime Minister (who actually *does* have the authority, though he's never used it).

Rufus Scrigemour: He had better pack a harmonica (mouth organ), because he's going to be spending a Rather Long Stretch in Azkaban.

Kingsley Shacklebolt (and who he fetched): It is highly *likely* that Shack is either a half-blood or muggleborn (JKR hasn't said which). The troops that he fetched were likely either SAS (22 Regiment) or Royal Marines. Which was it, Keith?

Charlie Weasley: Glad to find out he had nothing to do with the entire mess.

The Harem: Looks like more applications are coming in! Almost *certainly* Ginny Weasley (Harry himself brought up the possibility last chapter) and possibly Michaela Pamir as well.

The Polygamy/Polyamoury Law: What nobody seems to remember (surprisingly including Keith himself) is that *Amelia Bones* has been in such a relationship for several years (it was Amelia that outed herself to Harry back in LAPFTA). So either Amelia's spouses are dead or Keith did an oopsie; which is it?

The Special Confinement: That is likely in the infamous "Bloody Tower", last used to house Mary, Queen of Scots.


All in all, a smashing good read (with a few oopsies).

morriganscrow posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 9:23pm

Well done!
Yes, the ending was a tad abrupt, but now I can look forward to a rewrite!!

Ian Morgan posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 9:12pm

great chapter
Please continue

KenF posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 9:04pm

I agree with your note. It was a fun story, though, even if it doesnt' really end at an 'end'.

Nanio posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 8:59pm

I love your work. In honor of your work, I even tipped my hat to you by mentioning Lillibett’s leather in my story "Grim Decision" and asking your opinion on my Harry rant for Dumbledore. I love all of your works and still read them multiple times, and do not think badly of your skills. I just think that this story is not your best.

It's like a strip show. There’s always the promise of more, but you never really get it. This story had the chance of good action and politics, but I feel that it was shafted. I love your style normally, but this kind of story shouldn’t go by your usual style.

While you've written of War in the Magical world before, you didn't go the political route. In doing so here, the Angsty-I-will-roll-over-and-take-that giant-12-inch-unlubricated-double-dildo-in-the-ass Harry just doesn't work. The Harry needed to make this story just wasn't there. If you would’ve removed some of the more "Wah, I possibly lost my wives for something they consented to letting me do" and put in a little more confidence like the Harry from late in "Paradigm Shift," then the story would’ve worked better.

I understand you enjoy writing about sexual freedom and, while I think you’ve gone a bit too far out there for me, I had no problems with those aspects in this story. However, your need to put a lot of romance into this story took away from what you seemed to be building: political intrigue. That may not have been your intention, or you may feel that you covered that base, but you had the structure for a complex story about a revolution and you changed it into a flat, simple story of a Harry that wanted to change the world for his family but practically sat on his hands the entire time. The only time he fought it was defensively, and while you mentioned that fact yourself, history has shown that fighting a revolution is anything but defensive. Your Harry sounded like he knew what he was doing, but ended up making all the wrong choices before burning the Prophet and deciding to raid the Ministry building (which you made entirely too easy).

It’s like ordering a super-sundae that you thought would have 10 scoops of ice cream just to get a sundae with 3. From my perception as the reader, you seemed to be going for something you don’t normally write only to trip up and revert back, therefore causing this story to fall flat on its face.

dave gerecke posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 7:47pm

I have liked what I have read. I wonder just what you have up your sleeve after this.
dave

Beau Wolff posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 7:24pm

And is, as was expected, damnably impressive.

DJ posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 7:09pm

Nice work but I see what you mean about the ending. I thnks it was a bit quick but still a fun story. Good luck with NaNoWriMo 2006.

jilumasam posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 6:38pm

Well done!

Sean Dillon posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 6:21pm

Wow. 50,000 words already. Doesn't hardly seem like it.

Yes, the ending was a trifle weak. The rest of the story was pretty good however.

Nightwing510 posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 6:01pm

I enjoyed reading your story. I liked the way you had Harry be made the Minister of Magic.

Alex00 posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 6:00pm

Geat work.

Ronnie McMains posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 5:57pm

I think, in Harry's place, after what he'd seen at his parents' graves, I'd have killed all four of them with the first spell. Moral of the story: Piss off Harry Potter, and you'll regret it for the rest of your unnaturally short life.

As for Rufus, after his little performance at the end, I do hope they dig up some Dementors to keep him company.

So, now that the Ministry's under new management, will the Prophet be rebuilt, and it's owners told, "You should really try sticking to facts this time," or will the Quibbler be the only newspaper for the Wizarding World?

(Oh, by the way. Rita? You might want to start running now. I hear Alpha Centauri is nice this time of year...and it may even be far enough to keep Harry from wanting to come after you.)

Can't wait to see what your second project is (literally)!

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 5:57pm

And now the challenging effort starts. A challenge that, IMHO< dwarves the cleaning of the Augean stables and contains just as much "fertilizer" as those fabled stables.

On the other hand, there's a good, sound, team in place to deal with things. *wicked chuckle* Perhaps Harry hadn't realized that "You break it - you buy it" applies in aresa besides retail?

Oldwolf posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 5:44pm

And a superb project it was. I agree, the finale in the Minister's office did leave something to be desired, but other than that, an excellent chapter.

I'm worried about an insurrection though. The purebloods are not going to take the cuts in their power, or their abiliety to buy their way out of any legal problems, lieing down. Between them they do have the money and contacts to mount a full scale civil war. Just a bit of thought for your next project.

Ben Russell-Gough posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 5:53am

Well played by Harry on every level. He and his allies have ensured that the Ministry looks like a proto-fascist bunch of bullies whilst they are on the side of justice, law, truth and love. It happens to be true, but the demonstration of this to the masses is a vital step in ensuring that the revolution is most one-sided.

Now, everything lies on the shoulder of the Auror-in-charge of that kiddie snatch squad. If he or she has a brain and backs off, then things might calm down a little. If he or she insists on fighting... well, think of a lit match thrown into a gunpowder magazine and you will have some idea of the effect it will have. None of them will survive (hell, just Harry might be too strong for them) and the publicity will turn the Ministry and its agents into parriahs.

BenRG's Rating: 8/10

SerendipitousNightcrawler posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 4:00am

That was an excellent chapter to a very enjoyable story. I especially liked how Harry handled being arrested and showing that nobody should be above the law.

The one complaint I have about this story is the casualness to which Harry and his wives feel about letting others (always female I note) join their originally very tight-knit marriage. I liked how Harry, with his wives permission, used the auror to show even more injustices in the system, but now they're very flippant about seemingly letting her join their family. The same thing with Gabrielle, and now Ginny of all people. I understand forgive and move on, but it seems like anybody can join the frey so to speak, as if the original five aren't enough for each other. What is missing from their relationship that they now want to go and get another to join them? It just makes everything seem so superfluous to me.

Anyway, I look forward to the next chapter and thank you again for your always itneresting stories.

IceBlades posted a comment on Tuesday 14th November 2006 4:59pm

eeeehehehehehe, nice ending!