By Kinsfire
Reviews
Teresa Lynne posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 7:06am
Yay!!!!!!!! So, are Scrimgeour and Skeeter going to have adjoining cells in Azkaban? Or is she going to scream " freedom of the press " for all of her slander? I wonder if the Queen and the PM planned to have Harry take over from their first meeting, and had already drafted a pardon for him. I'd love to know what Patricia Braddock thought about her actions. Or has she used an extensive set of disguise charms, fled the country and moved to Ecuador? Hmmmmm, hanging, drawing, and quartering....Scrimgeour's pretty full of himself, isn't he? King Rufus the First indeed!As for what they did to those graves.....at least those creeps are out of the gene pool! They'd be right at home in any bigoted group. Thanks for writing such an intersting story!
Ken Warner posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 6:51am
great story thru out and a good start for a new series
thanks
Al posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 6:03am
Great story enjoyed the ride with all of them again.
BJH posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 5:37am
And just to be complete, let us examine Ginny's motives here. She spends a year hating Harry because she loves him. She admits her mistake and accepts that she has lost him. Or does she?
Five years later, at the first opportunity we see that Harry is seperated, physically, emotionally, and telepathically, from his wives, Ginny takes advantage of the opportunity to participate in an orgy where she winds up between the legs, and munching the carpet, of the one of Harry's wives that she has the most positive history with and whom would be the most receptive of her overtures.
If I were a cynic - and I am - I would be commending her on the patient and very slytherin approach she is taking to getting Harry back.
BJH
Kinsfire replied:
It's one of the reasons that I want to put this through a rewrite after the month is over - there are a lot of parts of the story that need expanding, to be honest, but the idea was given to me and I wanted to run with it.
This story is really a first draft, if you will. In a rewrite, I'll end up expanding things ... what I did in this is largely what I complain that JKR did with her books. There is a very large back story as to why Ginny is Harry's perfect girl, but we've never really seen that story.
I want to bring Ginny's part forward earlier in the fic, and show that she's grown. Show scenes like Harry looking at her as she climbs from the ocean and admiring the view; show that she's truly grown and can live with being his friend. Because THAT'S where the relationship will truly come from, if it does. (You'll note that I left the Gabbi/Isabella/Ginny question unanswered?)
I fully expect that the rewrite will likely end up at least half again as large.
And now everyone has an idea of WHY I use betas for my other stories... *grin*
BJH posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 5:03am
Since you brought up the Ginny thing in your author's note... I've been thinking about it a bit since reading the preceding chapter. I agree that there can and indeed should be a huge maturation between 16 and 21. It is easily conceivable that Ginny would not only accept her mistakes and begin to atone for them, as she did in Like a Phoenix, but also grow into the person that attracted both Harry and Hermione when they saw its potential in the teenage Ginny. So I won't argue that Harry should reject Ginny out of hand.
What bothers me is the way it seems to be being done. Has Harry no choice in whom he loves? It was at first gallant and noble that Harry would turn over the selection of his possible future wives to his current ones (not to mention lifesaving if you get my drift) but now I begin to question it.
I can understand with Isabelle. It was an emergency situation and he did consult his wives before bedding her. And I can see Gabrielle since again he gave his tentative agreement to build a relationship contigent to his wives approval. But then Ginny is found making love to Hermione, seemingly from out of the blue?
Given that you say that alcohol does not make you do things you don't want to, only reduces your inhibitions, then Hermione must have wanted Ginny to make love to her. Hermione must have known that Ginny was there as they had dinner and began drinking. If Ginny would have suddenly appeared out of nowhere between her legs I am thinking that Hermione would have reacted a bit differently. Hermione must have allowed the redhead to make love to her or at least permitted the situation that resulted in it. Ginny was invited to the orgy and her presence was accepted by all four of Harry's wives without his prior permission, either explicit or implied.
So I must conclude that the wives collectively feel that Harry's heart is some sort of token that they can distribute as they wish in order to bed any woman who strikes their fancy. Harry chose to love the original four and then they assume the power to dictate who and when he loves anyone else?
I don't disagree that Ginny should enter the family, I suspected it from the beginning actually, only that it is being presented to Harry as a fait accompli .
But to end my review on a positive note, I can sooo see Hermione convincing Harry to become an Animagus in order to recreate that little scenario from the desecration. She seems to be kinky enough to go for a "stag night".
BJH
maddy143ded posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 4:39am
simply wonderfull
but i was hoping for some more action and many more chapters.
how bout that, you do one more story in NaNoWriMo 2006 as a sequel for this one.
after all you have got 14 more days???
James Barber posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 3:24am
Hey I thimk the ending suited it quite well, but you shouldnt end it there, you have alot of story left in the rebuilding and adding to the harem!
LoggingInSucksAss posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 2:49am
OMFGBBQ! A finished story! I can't remember the last time I saw a finished story from you OR your lovely wife. I thought you two just didn't "do" endings.
Okay, okay, enough teasing. I really enjoyed how this one went - I'm not even sure it needs much in the way of of reediting or expansion. It works very well as is all things considered. Thanks for writing it (and finishing it)!
:P
Shawn Pickett posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 2:46am
An interesting, if somewhat incomplete ending. Great work, I look forward to seeing what you have in store for use next Keith, outstanding work as usual.
MarinePotterfan posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 2:27am
Well I was hoping for a lot more, I can't wait to see the changes and if you add more at a later date. I hope that you do add more to see what happens to everybody in the future. Thanks for writing.
MPF
Elfguard48 posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 2:10am
I loved the story. I can't wait to see if you write one of Harry the Minister of Magic. I liked the fact it was fast and enteraining. I would of not held off beating some brais in. Good for Harry keeping his wits about him. Glad to see the Goblins take up the cause. Keep writing having a hard time waiting for the next Adventure
(deleted) posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 2:06am
you could do SO much moe with this story! dont give it up! make it a great one like it predesessor! please? lol
loralee posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 1:58am
Very nice loved this story, bring on the next one. :)
Treck posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 1:21am
When you do the re-write you need to do something about the up and coming dark lady. (Skeeter)
That bitch has been given free rein for WAY too long.
Voldemort is Dead posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 1:19am
Very good story!
Gardengirl posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 12:34am
WOO HOO! Nicely done, Keith! But poor Harry, he never wanted to be in charge.
DJ Rodriguez posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 12:27am
^_^ Ah, a good ending and also poetic justice. The muggle Royal government, the Goblins, and Harry's friends finally ended this little governmental farce. Hopefully, things will quiet down a bit.
^_^ Ha! Harry running the government?! That's not his strength since his dislike for politics, but I'm sure he'll do fine. Especially for his wives and friends helping him out.
Keep it up!
jeffstrauser@yahoo.com posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 12:02am
OUTSTANDING STORY!!!! The ending was as you so elequently put it a little weak but you know what it was still an awesome story. Your a damn good writer so don't let the small things phase ya, I mean I get upset because I can't spell worth crap but then again English isn't my first language. DO keep up the outstanding work:):):):)
Ron posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 11:44pm
Keith, love what you did with the little plot bunny I threw out. Now all you need to do is find that from Lily's heritage, Harry is some form of relation to the queen!
Adam posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 7:40am