By Kinsfire
Reviews
James Barber posted a comment on Friday 3rd November 2006 8:06am
Well, well, well you actually did it, you posted your sequel without us having to wait a year! I'm impressed. now that I got all that scarcastic shit out of the way!
Thanks for posting this, great story, got me to figuring it must be someone in the ministry probably had something to do with fudge trying to get harry to take care of his problems. hope to see an update soon!
Panaka posted a comment on Friday 3rd November 2006 8:05am
Harry turns round facing a room full of aurors, with his aura flashing bright around him and his eyes lighting up with power. A desk is reduced to splinters.
"Right, which one of you sick fucks has her?"
The entire auror core shits itself before fainting.
Cool story.
sylver_skoon posted a comment on Friday 3rd November 2006 6:55am
This came to me just after reading...
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Harry makes a floo call to the twins
"Fred, Georges, , we have a suspect and we need you to make him talk."
"Good! Where are you?"
"In madam Bones' office. The guy is an Auror."
Fred and Georges' predator grins could turn pale a goblin
"Can we play with him a little before we make him talk?"
The Auror begins to blanch.
"Remember, we have to find Lorelei" Harry says.
"Right. ! We test our toys on him for no more than 5 minutes, then we make him talk. We'll be there in 5."
The Auror whimpers.
-----------------
Sylver
Viridian posted a comment on Friday 3rd November 2006 4:00am
Oh boy... The excrement has intercepted the rotary oscillator at relativistic speeds.
I wonder if Draco inadvertantly foiled one of Fudge's plots by assassinating him?
Viridian posted a comment on Friday 3rd November 2006 3:48am
Off to a running start, I see!
Nice transition over from LAPFTA. The rock exploding was a nice touch - a good bit of accidental magic is to be expected at such a time.
Meteoricshipyards posted a comment on Friday 3rd November 2006 3:17am
Wowa! The thick plottens.
I wouldn't expect Draco to be much of a problem, but did expect him to be the new dork lord. Now I have no idea who really has Lorelli and why.
Thanks for writing, and updating so quickly.
Tom A.
The Resident posted a comment on Friday 3rd November 2006 2:30am
I hope that Harry defeats this fool so badly and so publicly that anyone with any thoughts of becoming the next 'Dark Lord' will forever give up any such idea. Keep up the great work. I eagerly await the next chapter. P.S. did anyone bother to check and see if the 'finger' actually belonged to Lorelei?
John Fitzgerald posted a comment on Friday 3rd November 2006 2:13am
That was a great start to an excellent story. Thanks.
sasqch posted a comment on Friday 3rd November 2006 1:09am
Now I’m really curious as to Harry’s next step, given that my initial thought was that the Dark Mark would lead him to the person(s) responsible for assaulting his daughter.
Okay, so I was right about Draco. But I will admit that I was assuming that he’d have somehow become competent — but I had completely forgotten about his oath. And the oath should be in effect, since Harry never broke his side, nor absolved Draco from his oath. I liked that you had Harry decimate the Neo-Death Eaters so handily. As an aside, I loved all of Harry’s deriation of Draco’s assumed "scary name" — especially Basselope.
I’m guessing that Bill isn’t this story’s "Big Bad" seeing as he was named as a potential suspect. I’m assuming that he was named as a red herring (but everybody knows what happens when someone "assumes"). But Charlie would still be viable.
As to the other parts of this chapter, two scenes stand out as being quite memorable. The first was the nice twist on the Griphook encounter. Rather than having Harry instantly recognize the cart driver from 11 years prior (which would be hard, considering the amount of sensory overload 11-year old Harry was going through), you made it more believable. Instead, you have a more believable encounter where he knows he’s met the goblin, but can’t place a name to the face. This has Harry being kind and considerate to all species, yet not have an eidetic memory.
The other scene was with the Twins. It makes sense that Harry would touch base with the two Weasleys who had stayed by his side. But it was Fred and George’s reaction to the news of Lorelei’s abduction. It was a nice way to show the emotions in the scene.
Chris
sasqch posted a comment on Friday 3rd November 2006 1:04am
An interesting prologue.
I will admit to being slightly displeased by the total comfort level between the Potters and Ron/Ginny. Yeah, it’s been five years, but their betrayal was awfully deep and constant. Harry may have made a decision to forgive them, but it just seems so quick and complete given that these two were guilty of a more heinous behavior than Bill or Charlie. Both Ron and Ginny (one would suppose, since she was all but engaged to Harry) knew Harry, yet believed the reported actions of his two-timing. Wore, though was their continued assault against Harry’s honor (Ginny’s statement about being glad Lily and James were dead, the rallying of the school against Harry, etc). And even if Harry did forgive the two, wouldn’t his wives be at least a little abrasive to the duo (even if it was only to crow about them being with Harry)?
This complaint is very minor though; the rest of the story set-up is well done. The idea that Severus continued his "mellowing" while being away from the pressures of being an agent makes sense. And having Albus be such an integral part of the Potter family continues the comments in the first story. Another small, yet significant touch that I really liked was the identity of Ron’s wife. Canon!Ron would never accept the idea of even looking at a Slytherin as a friend, let alone a partner. Having Ron mature enough to look beyond the silly House-Feuds was a nice way of showing his commitment to change his ways from the first book.
As to the current Dark Lord, my money is one either Draco or Bill/Charlie. Draco, only because he would continue to live on his father’s coat-tails by using the Dark Mark, and he’s the last "big name" not given an on-screen termination in the last story. As for Bill/Charlie, I could see either one of them eventually turn their festering self-loathing for their actions into something that was Harry’s fault. But I could be wrong.
Chris
c3markh posted a comment on Friday 3rd November 2006 12:51am
Love the new chapter. Thanks for writing.
Alexander posted a comment on Friday 3rd November 2006 12:43am
Didn't Malfoy lose his claim to that name when Harry denied his parents' marriage?
Ah, yes...
"'Draco, I have come to inform you that as of this moment, the Black family is no longer yours - you have been cast out. When all is said and done, you will have reaped what you have sown. You will die alone and friendless, with no family name .' He turned and walked away from the holding cells, head held high."
Crys posted a comment on Friday 3rd November 2006 12:35am
> vibrating rubber chicken
Kins, you are seriously warped. Funny as hell, but warped.
Aaah. Okay, now that we've separated the bad guys into the "dumb" and the "less dumb" camps . . .
Whoever the Auror is (or is working for) at least he's reasonably intelligent. Hiding his activities under the banner of another and giving himself some running time while Harry takes down the Wonder Ferret.
Lord Basselope was an inspired line, btw.
Draco continues to exhibit his utter cluelessness by loudly claiming the "Basileus" name in front of Amelia. Not only a weak bully, but also a stupid one. *sigh* Behold, the end result of a long line of inbreeding.
BTW, my original guesses are still somewhat in the running. Looking forward to the continuation.
Shawn Pickett posted a comment on Friday 3rd November 2006 12:25am
Oh bloody buggering frack! The ministry grabbed Lorelei to force Harry to deal with Draco. There won't be much left of the ministry when Harry gets done this day.
Treck posted a comment on Friday 3rd November 2006 12:24am
Ok what does your muse feed on? thats a horrid place to stop.
DrT posted a comment on Thursday 2nd November 2006 11:54pm
Lord Basselope? A Bloom county fan? And he was a red herring? Except plot device, and it serves the little ferret right.
"T"
DJ Rodriguez posted a comment on Thursday 2nd November 2006 11:18pm
0_0 Draco was the Lord... and now one of the Ministry's Aurors was responsible for kidnapping Lorelei?! Harry... like I said before, do what you must to ensure that your daughter is returned to you and your wives's arms safe and sound.
I really hope that somebody they can trust can restore Lorelei's finger back to normal. No child should be exposed to that sort of thing. Please, I'm begging you, have someone restore the child's finger to her hand.
If Harry needs more back-up, count me in! My team here on Monster Island will help out in any way possible.
Keep it up!
Nightwing510 posted a comment on Thursday 2nd November 2006 10:49pm
I enjoyed reading your story. I liked the way you had Harry defeat Draco Malfoy. And the surprise at the end.
jeffstrauser@yahoo.com posted a comment on Thursday 2nd November 2006 9:43pm
OUTSTANDING CHAPTER!!!! I can't wait to see what happens next. I'm glad you got rid of Lord Bunghole, I do however find it very ironic that he ended up being Draco Malfoy the biggest loser off all of the universe. DO keep up the outstanding work and update soon please:):):):):):):):):):)
MarinePotterfan posted a comment on Friday 3rd November 2006 8:21am