Alcatras posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 9:33pm for Chapter 14

That is a mean end but a rather funny one.

Kate5 posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 5:50pm for Chapter 14

are they gonna move to utah when they leave Britian? You write well, the story has a good premise, I like an "independant" Harry, but FOUR wives????

ridmania posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 5:39pm for Chapter 14

absolutly loved it!!!

Jason Karr posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 4:42pm for Chapter 14

I am looking forword to the next chapter.

whimsical007 posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 3:26pm for Chapter 14

I join with other reviewers in praising the successful combination of drama, humor, and eroticism in this chapter. Like many of the reviewers, I'm impressed to see Ginny taking responsibility for her actions. However, Bill and Charlie still have not come to terms that whatever their rationalizations of their treatment of Harry as protecting Ginny and their family, their actions have now broken the family.

Fred and George are disgusted with the other Weasleys, lost all respect for their parents and siblings, and seriously considered formally removing themselves as Weasleys. Ginny has announced that she will break all contact with the family as soon as she becomes an adult and she no longer recognizes Bill and Charlie as family. Ron has lost the friendship and respect of his closest friends, Harry, Hermione, and Neville and probably will become persona non grata with the rest of Gryffindor should they learn the truth. The family lost the respect of Dumbledore and the other members of the OotP. When and how do Bill and Charlie recognize what they've done and take responsibility? What will Fleur's reaction be to Bill when she finds out all the sordid details?

Ginny mentioned Percy as apparently having a role in this mess. When and how did that occur? I don't recall his presence in previous chapters.

Fishburne posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 2:33pm for Chapter 14

Its Kinsfire! Hoooray Kinsfire!

Love it, as usual, a FINE piece of work. Lots of sex, lots of snarkiness, just a touch of overacting, and some hysterical situations.

One comment..."Between the two of us, who are a legal fiction of three people..." ummmmm Faction?

As always Keith, my man, you amaze and delight. Give the wife a hug from me, and see you in the funny papers!

Fish - Founding member of "The Longbottom Three"

Kinsfire replied:

It may be a bit confusing, but he was referring to the fact that legally, in this specific situation, he is two people, and with his wife Susan, the two of them are a legal fiction of being three people in two bodies.

As a founding member of the Longbottom 3, I can say that any Neville fans are going to cheer at the beginning of the next chapter.

John Pinkston posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 2:24pm for Chapter 14

Definately a fun ride. I so love people finding out that they are stupid the hard way. Keep up the good work.

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 2:20pm for Chapter 14

*snicker* Well worth the wait with some very nice sections indeed. I might have liked to see a bit more of the Weaseley melt-down but this will do. The expression on Ginny's face when she finds that he's married all four - and sees the real nature of their rings - should be interesting, though she seems rather resigned to having done herself in. Rather more responsibility there than the others are showing (though I wonder about Arthur, I suspect he may own up to his responsibilities).


*smile* It would be "interesting" to read Rita Skinner's report of that train trip.

Viridian posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 2:02pm for Chapter 14

Mwuhahahaha!

Freshly caught trout indeed!

Ginny's dialogue and rant toward her family was particularly well done. I can see her having to grow up rather quickly in those circumstances. (The people she loved and depended on all her life were instrumental in destroying her relationship with Harry.) Good to see that at least one Weasley accepted responsibility for their actions...

PhishBulb posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 1:36pm for Chapter 14

I think that this was possibly the best chapter of the story, and quite frankly much better than anything I was expecting after the whole Malfoy thing. I suppose any chapter where Harry kicks ass and gets laid (in a non-submissive taking it from Draco for some ungodly reason aside from possibly wanting to experiment with his own sexuality and only being able to justify it to himself by being "raped") will entertain me.

I thought Ginny's talk with her family was far too little, too late. I can feel sympathetic towards her on a basic human level as she has truly lost everything and now knows it. However, she truly brought it upon herself and I think that her plan of moving far, far away from everyone involved is a great one.

I thought that Harry's response to Lucius was inspired concerning the Imperius curse. I'll admit, I've often wondered why no one has thought to redicule Lucius like this. I thought that was great.

I don't mean to be offensive, and I truly hope it was intentional, but I thought that the:

"What do you think you can do?" sneered the sharp-chinned woman. "Rant us into submission?"

line was pretty damn good too considering the way Harry was acting throughout the story. It seemed self-referential and well placed, and it was nice for Harry to finally back up some of his talk with some action.

This was a really well-done chapter of a story that I had thought you might have abandoned, and it certainly rekindled my interest in further chapters. I hope that the muse strikes and you find time to finish it.

Musings of Apathy posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 1:04pm for Chapter 14

Excellent chatper, Keith. I always like it when Harry can find happiness and start on the track to the rest of his life; first stop, Vanquish Voldie.

Thank you for writing.

Mike.

Robin Westerly posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 12:32pm for Chapter 14

whoopee!!!!

Bryan Sherrell posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 11:27am for Chapter 14

Very nice, kepp it comeing

sasqch posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 10:56am for Chapter 14

It was great to see an update to this story. A few points stood out as simply stellar.

I liked how Harry simply took over the Order without any fuss. It was amusing to see him play with the Weasleys simply by refusing to let the discussion divert from the brainstorming session. Although the simple dig about being married was perfect; the family will be wracking their collective brains trying to figure out which witch landed Harry. I also liked how both Albus and Severus worked well with the new leader of the Order. They took a skeletal plan and created something that is both feasible and believable in nature. I would be surprised if Tom doesn’t fall hook, line, and sinker for the trap.

I also loved the idea that Harry and Susan are the controlling body of Hogwarts now. Having Harry lay a simple trap for the egotists that comprise the Board of Governors is a truly nice touch. Rather than creating a huge issue, he basically paid tribute to his father and godfather. Allowing the idiots to dig their own graves was a prank worthy of a Marauder. And of course getting the extra digs into both Malfoy and his ass-kissers... excuse me, his supporters is always a good thing.

The train ride was another scene that was nice to see as well as being well crafted. The idea that the overly repressed Hermione is actually a bit of an exhibitionist is a great touch. It’s a simple and believable character aspect that adds a surprising depth to the character. It also creates the potential for some truly spectacular scenes. The hinted scene for a wild romp in the Hogwarts Library just screams to be written. I like that Luna was the first wife to be confirmed pregnant; and the selection of the girl’s name is again truly in character for Harry.

I also liked the symmetry that Harry and his wives had enough time on the ride to make sure that each person had their own personal time together. I would imagine that by the end of the trip, given their ability to share their feelings (as shown during the end of the last chapter) that the car's occupants were pretty much nearing overload. I wonder just how soon after dinner was it that the newlyweds retreated to their quarters to continue their activities?

As an aside, I also like how you "rewarded" Neville. Not only did he apologize for his sheep-like behavior from the beginning of the year, but he stood up to the most domineering person in his life. I can see Neville not quite believing he had the courage to stand-up to his grandmother the way he did. But with the potential of gaining Hannah as a girlfriend, you made sure to reinforce his character: he isn’t looking for a quick fling. Neville is very much an honorable soul, as shown by his actions. I thought it was quite fitting that both Neville and Hannah were the first of their peers to find out the true nature of the group’s new wedded status, and that they simply accepted it.

There was one point that I didn’t like. Ginny.

The rest of the Weasleys seem to be very much in shock still and trying to, well, weasel their way back into Harry’s good graces. They just don’t truly grasp just what they did to him. I do like the idea that Harry isn’t looking for a quick revenge. Firing Arthur out of pettiness would make Harry just as bad as the idiots who keep turning on him. Rather, having the Weasleys realize over time just what they cost themselves is so much sweeter.

But, Ginny’s adamant stance that they as a family were in the wrong and that they should not be doing anything to demand forgiveness strikes me a bit off. Yes, she is rightfully angry at Bill and Charlie. It was their lies that led the family down the path. But Ginny wasn’t pulled kicking and screaming down that path to abandon Harry. She was quite vocal in her attacks on Harry. Remember her statement that she was glad that James and Lily were dead? She also was refusing to accept the truth, once the elder brothers confessed their machinations. She demanded to know, if Harry wasn’t screwing Pansy, why the ring had Pansy’s name on it. That was a very short time before this scene. Given that this is the same little girl who set her sights on the "Boy-Who-Lived" and eventually nailed him, only to throw him away, her reversal in attitude comes across a bit too soon.

Compare her to the others in the family: none of the others had the same amount of emotional (and physical) connection to Harry. None of the others had received a pledge of love. She was just as abusive to Harry (and his wives) as all the others, if not more so. I realize that you are trying to give her some redemption, but it just rang false, given her isolated mature stance. The only good thing about her reversal was that you didn’t let the ghost of her possession come in to play as an excuse.

This is only a minor complaint, fueled by the fact that I think of all the Weasleys, Ron and Ginny should be the ones to bear the brunt of the offense. Yes, they are the youngest, but they are also the closest to Harry (and Hermione). They both willingly jumped to agree with their brothers’ claims. Neither asked for any proof beyond the ring. Coming from a large family myself, this blind acceptance that a best friend of six years (Ron) or the proposed fiancée (Ginny) just is unforgivable. The only reason that the two of them would accept the claim at face value, and then continue to harass Harry and his supporters, would be if they were looking for a fault to begin with. Maybe I'm reading too much into her screaming fit, but having her be the "mature" one just seems so contrary to her previous nature throughout this story.

You closed the chapter with the statement that you’re nearing the end of this tale (nooooo!!!). Personally, beyond seeing Voldemort being turned into kibble, there are a few things I would like to see yet get resolved. First, as you may have guessed, I would love to see the long-term repercussions the Weasleys face. And I personally think that Ginny, no matter what she does, should never overcome her loss. Hell, even if she were to be suddenly as mature and rational as you presented her in this chapter, she should realize that what she did is beyond forgiveness or even understanding. And don’t forget, the "sheeple", especially the rest of the student body, will turn on Hermione and Ron for "making them" alienate and antagonize Harry. Will the rest of the school decide to get revenge "for Harry" against the two in-school Weasleys?

I wonder also if there is going to be any sort of fallout over the disbanding of the Board of Governors? Will the Ministry sit back and allow this? They were the ones who forced Dumbledore to accept Umbridge after all.

And of course, will the newlyweds continue to find new and interesting places to explore each other? Like I said, the Library scene sounds like a hoot.

Chris

mark posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 10:20am for Chapter 14

absolutly fantastic chapter and i cant wait for the next its great to see you working on this story again and hopefully the next chapter wont be so long in coming

Voldemort is Dead posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 10:18am for Chapter 14

Good for Harry! I loved it when he put down Lucius!

Donald Deutsch posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 9:42am for Chapter 14

Great chapter. Can't wait for the next one. Keep up the good work.

Tenko Ranchi posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 9:01am for Chapter 14

Excellent chapter love the way it's going.

Nanio posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 8:58am for Chapter 14

That was some shit... I like it. The Ginny thing is starting to show that she realizes the consequences of her actions... A nefarious plot to capture the enemy... passion on the hogwarts express (you never said they blacked out the windows after Harry and Hermione were done, which makes it better)... and the disbandment of the board of govenors... All in all, I'd say it was excellent.

MarkH posted a comment on Thursday 20th April 2006 8:47am for Chapter 14

This was a good chapter, but I want to cast my lot into your thinking processes and ask for something more creative and interesting to happen to Ginny.

And by, more insteresting, I am not talking about punishment either. I truly think she is being punished enough for her lost opportunity (as anyone who has love and lost will tesitfy). No, the cliche of her leaving her family just isn't right - maybe something a bit more obtuse if you know what I mean.

Love the train scene.