ridmania posted a comment on Saturday 27th May 2006 1:34pm for Coming Home

love it!!

EricThorsen posted a comment on Saturday 27th May 2006 12:09pm for Coming Home

A touch angsty... but it makes sense. Good work on not making this grouping too easy on them.

Shawn Pickett posted a comment on Saturday 27th May 2006 11:02am for Coming Home

Well damn, that's just a right mess and a half. Great writing though, I look forward to the imminent conversation between Jocelyn and Hermione, and the one that will follow between them and Harry.

jdcox61 posted a comment on Saturday 27th May 2006 9:33am for Coming Home

I think this is a pretty cool story, it's certainly got my attention as well. I can't wait for you to update again!

Alorkin posted a comment on Saturday 27th May 2006 7:45am for Coming Home

Keith, Much as I love all your other stories, and as much as I *really* hate to say this, this chapter isn't up to your usual standard. You have left too many weak places in the storyline, as well as the expressions you have used. For instance: "I know you and that dead fool headmaster of yours..." doesn't use Voldemorts's established speach patterns. He more likely would have said: "I know that you and that muggle loving fool, Dumbledore..."
Of course, being the great and powerful Wizard of...oh, wait. OK, Being the terrible Dark Lord, Vader...no, that's not it. *Checks script* Oh, yeah, here it is. OK, Being the feared dark lord VOLDEMORT, I suppose no grammer teacher is going to take him to task.
Hermione's use of the expression: "Sweet Merlyn" Is somewhat out of character. Ginny would likely evoke Merlyn as did her father in book 2, or 'the Goddess of Life', but being muggleborn, Hermione would have been brought up with some kind of religeous background, even if it's only the barest pass-by, such as celebrating Christmas rather than the winter solstice, and the same for Easter. She most likely would use the expression 'Oh God' or 'sweet Jesus', instead.
The description of Frank and his paramour, Cognac, are really weak. "...all-but tore each other's clothes off and started having sex..." Urh? Of course the follow up was a bit better. Harry scrubbing his skin raw was nicely written, but the first part of the following Harry/Hermione scene, seems rather rushed. Did you have too much coffee that night? Couldn't sleep?
The second half, starting with Hermione's viewing of the photographs, shines in the manner of the rest of your stories. The loving they shared, was desperate at first, and later, soft and comforting.
The interaction between Harry, Hermione and Jocelyn,(nice choice of name, by the way. Helen and Emma are far too overused.)following Harry's revelation, is like something out of a 'cheezy romance novel'(your words, not mine.) rather than the anger and denial one would find in reality. It's almost what JKR did to Sirius in The-Book-That-Should-Never-have-Been-Written. You did, however recover it somewhat with Harry's thoughts.
Your deascriptions of the year following the divorce was minimalistic at best. Yes, I understand it's not critical to the plot, but I think you could have filled it in a bit.
The last dozen or so paragraphs have returned to your usual standard. The angst Harry induces is well written, and the reactions of both Hermione and Jocelyn are literally palpable.
As always, I anxiously await the next chapter of whichever story you work on. Please feel free to ignore the 'do not reply' flag you have on my reviews. I swear! It was an accident! I clicked the mouse on the wrong spot. Please forgive me! (No cruciatus, this time, though.)
Alorkin

Bernd Jacobitz posted a comment on Saturday 27th May 2006 7:21am for Coming Home

Ah Harry at his best, but grown up somewhat. Damn good character work on his behalf.

freakyfinger posted a comment on Saturday 27th May 2006 6:18am for Coming Home

This is definitely weird . . .

DJ posted a comment on Saturday 27th May 2006 3:56am for Coming Home

OK we know it works out at some point from your warnings but how much crap are Harry & Co. going to have to go thru befor we get there? Can't wait to see Keep it up.

whyshouldicare posted a comment on Saturday 27th May 2006 3:25am for Coming Home

i liked it.are hermione and her mum going to be with harry?if they r r they going to have a 3 way?

Ben Russell-Gough posted a comment on Saturday 27th May 2006 3:13am for Coming Home

Uh... Yeah, that's Harry alright. Assume he is wicked and act accordingly. I really think, if nothing else, Snape is right in this area to call him arrogant - he assumes he has offended before he asks the other person if he has offended him.

So, what next? A ISOS-style chase? Or will Hermione do what Hermione does best - find him and slap him upside the head? ;-)

BenRG's Rating: 7/10

Coolone007 posted a comment on Saturday 27th May 2006 3:04am for Coming Home

Wow Talk about the other shoe falling! I am very couriouse to see how Hermione, a very jealouse person will deal with harry being with both women, maybe. I can't wait to read more. I also hope you update your other stories.

FaithU posted a comment on Saturday 27th May 2006 2:36am for Coming Home

Can't. Stop. There. No fair !

Nightwing510 posted a comment on Saturday 27th May 2006 2:32am for Coming Home

I enjoyed reading your story. I liked how you had Harry tell Hermione & her Mother Jocelyn the truth.

ace posted a comment on Saturday 27th May 2006 2:24am for Coming Home

Whoa. That is all I can say at this moment. This is getting intersting.

Adam posted a comment on Saturday 27th May 2006 2:05am for Coming Home

I always find it inteersting that Harry never stops to talk things through in situations like this - he just runs, assuming that everyone thinks the way he does. I have this suspicion that if he had only stopped and actually talked to Hermione and Jocelyn about this they could have found a suitable solution. I do hope that Hermione and Jocelyn find him and sort this out.

The Midnight Poster posted a comment on Saturday 27th May 2006 12:45am for Coming Home

Oh come on! Will you stop with clifies like this!?

Ken Warner posted a comment on Saturday 27th May 2006 12:13am for Coming Home

I like the story, understand the angst he is feeling with the Frank setup, but think that the 2 1/2 years of a healthy loving relationship should have helped heal that warping of is psyche to the point that he won't just run away.

Whatever, it is your story and I am looking forward to reading it as they are ALWAYS entertaining and thought provoking.

warm regards

James Barber posted a comment on Friday 26th May 2006 11:59pm for Coming Home

Great chapter, but he is so much a coward, hell I would of at least hung around long enough to give them a chance to answer!

but still great story, can hardly wait for next update!

James Benfield posted a comment on Friday 26th May 2006 11:16pm for Coming Home

Whoa boy! This is a great chapter, and I cant wait to see how the next one goes. I imagine there are going to be some intresting reactions on Hermione and Jocelyn's parts, and Harry is going to try and be some noble fool that we know he is. Keep up the good work please, and update as soon as you can.

James

PhiloWorm posted a comment on Friday 26th May 2006 9:17pm for Coming Home

Ouch... that was harsh, sad, apropriate and dare I say it... AWESOME!!!