BJH posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 5:03am for The End of the Beginning

Since you brought up the Ginny thing in your author's note... I've been thinking about it a bit since reading the preceding chapter. I agree that there can and indeed should be a huge maturation between 16 and 21. It is easily conceivable that Ginny would not only accept her mistakes and begin to atone for them, as she did in Like a Phoenix, but also grow into the person that attracted both Harry and Hermione when they saw its potential in the teenage Ginny. So I won't argue that Harry should reject Ginny out of hand.

What bothers me is the way it seems to be being done. Has Harry no choice in whom he loves? It was at first gallant and noble that Harry would turn over the selection of his possible future wives to his current ones (not to mention lifesaving if you get my drift) but now I begin to question it.

I can understand with Isabelle. It was an emergency situation and he did consult his wives before bedding her. And I can see Gabrielle since again he gave his tentative agreement to build a relationship contigent to his wives approval. But then Ginny is found making love to Hermione, seemingly from out of the blue?

Given that you say that alcohol does not make you do things you don't want to, only reduces your inhibitions, then Hermione must have wanted Ginny to make love to her. Hermione must have known that Ginny was there as they had dinner and began drinking. If Ginny would have suddenly appeared out of nowhere between her legs I am thinking that Hermione would have reacted a bit differently. Hermione must have allowed the redhead to make love to her or at least permitted the situation that resulted in it. Ginny was invited to the orgy and her presence was accepted by all four of Harry's wives without his prior permission, either explicit or implied.

So I must conclude that the wives collectively feel that Harry's heart is some sort of token that they can distribute as they wish in order to bed any woman who strikes their fancy. Harry chose to love the original four and then they assume the power to dictate who and when he loves anyone else?

I don't disagree that Ginny should enter the family, I suspected it from the beginning actually, only that it is being presented to Harry as a fait accompli .

But to end my review on a positive note, I can sooo see Hermione convincing Harry to become an Animagus in order to recreate that little scenario from the desecration. She seems to be kinky enough to go for a "stag night".

BJH

maddy143ded posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 4:39am for The End of the Beginning

simply wonderfull
but i was hoping for some more action and many more chapters.
how bout that, you do one more story in NaNoWriMo 2006 as a sequel for this one.
after all you have got 14 more days???

James Barber posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 3:24am for The End of the Beginning

Hey I thimk the ending suited it quite well, but you shouldnt end it there, you have alot of story left in the rebuilding and adding to the harem!

LoggingInSucksAss posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 2:49am for The End of the Beginning

OMFGBBQ! A finished story! I can't remember the last time I saw a finished story from you OR your lovely wife. I thought you two just didn't "do" endings.

Okay, okay, enough teasing. I really enjoyed how this one went - I'm not even sure it needs much in the way of of reediting or expansion. It works very well as is all things considered. Thanks for writing it (and finishing it)!

:P

Shawn Pickett posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 2:46am for The End of the Beginning

An interesting, if somewhat incomplete ending. Great work, I look forward to seeing what you have in store for use next Keith, outstanding work as usual.

MarinePotterfan posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 2:27am for The End of the Beginning

Well I was hoping for a lot more, I can't wait to see the changes and if you add more at a later date. I hope that you do add more to see what happens to everybody in the future. Thanks for writing.

MPF

Elfguard48 posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 2:10am for The End of the Beginning

I loved the story. I can't wait to see if you write one of Harry the Minister of Magic. I liked the fact it was fast and enteraining. I would of not held off beating some brais in. Good for Harry keeping his wits about him. Glad to see the Goblins take up the cause. Keep writing having a hard time waiting for the next Adventure

(deleted) posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 2:06am for The End of the Beginning

you could do SO much moe with this story! dont give it up! make it a great one like it predesessor! please? lol

loralee posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 1:58am for The End of the Beginning

Very nice loved this story, bring on the next one. :)

Treck posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 1:21am for The End of the Beginning

When you do the re-write you need to do something about the up and coming dark lady. (Skeeter)

That bitch has been given free rein for WAY too long.

Voldemort is Dead posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 1:19am for The End of the Beginning

Very good story!

Gardengirl posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 12:34am for The End of the Beginning

WOO HOO! Nicely done, Keith! But poor Harry, he never wanted to be in charge.

DJ Rodriguez posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 12:27am for The End of the Beginning

^_^ Ah, a good ending and also poetic justice. The muggle Royal government, the Goblins, and Harry's friends finally ended this little governmental farce. Hopefully, things will quiet down a bit.

^_^ Ha! Harry running the government?! That's not his strength since his dislike for politics, but I'm sure he'll do fine. Especially for his wives and friends helping him out.

Keep it up!

jeffstrauser@yahoo.com posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 12:02am for The End of the Beginning

OUTSTANDING STORY!!!! The ending was as you so elequently put it a little weak but you know what it was still an awesome story. Your a damn good writer so don't let the small things phase ya, I mean I get upset because I can't spell worth crap but then again English isn't my first language. DO keep up the outstanding work:):):):)

Ron posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 11:44pm for The End of the Beginning

Keith, love what you did with the little plot bunny I threw out. Now all you need to do is find that from Lily's heritage, Harry is some form of relation to the queen!

CRose posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 10:54pm for The End of the Beginning

This was a lot of fun to read. As a NaNo WriMo story kind of surprised to see that your ending it this early though. You still have two weeks to add more to it. :P

Amamama posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 10:22pm for The End of the Beginning

Finished? That's too bad, I would so love to see how Harry rebuilds the wizarding government. And what kind of help they get from Benjamin Franklin.

Anyway, Harry is incredibly strong - it's a good thing that that one Auror disagreed with the desecration, as that obviously saved his life. And you have to wonder about the (dead) Aurors' ability to think for themselves. Seriously. People are so sheep sometimes. In RL too.

It's been a great, fun journey. I look forward to the proper rewritten one, when it surfaces, but this has been a great ride. Thanks a bunch! I would love to see what happens in the future, though. A happy, safe wizarding world where love flows strong and polygamous marriages are the rule rather than the exception? Families with several mums and dads living together? I can always ponder the idea, if you don't write it. ;-)

Thanks for sharing!
Berte

Christopher Estep posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 9:56pm for The End of the Beginning

Oh, crap. Talk about the absolute *worst* possible punishment for Harry; being forced to actually *do* the rebuilding of the Magical government (something he most assuredly did NOT want!). Harry makes history three different ways: youngest Minister for Magic (remember, he's all of twenty-two), third consecutive interim Minister (remember, neither Umbridge *or* Scrigemour stood for election), and the first post-split Minister appointed by the Prime Minister (who actually *does* have the authority, though he's never used it).

Rufus Scrigemour: He had better pack a harmonica (mouth organ), because he's going to be spending a Rather Long Stretch in Azkaban.

Kingsley Shacklebolt (and who he fetched): It is highly *likely* that Shack is either a half-blood or muggleborn (JKR hasn't said which). The troops that he fetched were likely either SAS (22 Regiment) or Royal Marines. Which was it, Keith?

Charlie Weasley: Glad to find out he had nothing to do with the entire mess.

The Harem: Looks like more applications are coming in! Almost *certainly* Ginny Weasley (Harry himself brought up the possibility last chapter) and possibly Michaela Pamir as well.

The Polygamy/Polyamoury Law: What nobody seems to remember (surprisingly including Keith himself) is that *Amelia Bones* has been in such a relationship for several years (it was Amelia that outed herself to Harry back in LAPFTA). So either Amelia's spouses are dead or Keith did an oopsie; which is it?

The Special Confinement: That is likely in the infamous "Bloody Tower", last used to house Mary, Queen of Scots.


All in all, a smashing good read (with a few oopsies).

morriganscrow posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 9:23pm for The End of the Beginning

Well done!
Yes, the ending was a tad abrupt, but now I can look forward to a rewrite!!

Ian Morgan posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 9:12pm for The End of the Beginning

great chapter
Please continue