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Reviews

DJ posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 9:20pm

"He was facing the British Prime Minister and Queen Elizabeth" First Ben Franklin now this, what have you got up your sleve next? This is grate stuff keep it up.

Christopher Estep posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 7:10pm

The End-Run Strategy has begun, and it's shaping up to be Rather Bad News for Minister Scrigemour and Company. Rufus Scrigemour is a wartime minister in peacetime...which usually NOT a good thing.
Meanwhile, Hermione finds out a pleasant surprise about Harry (but one she should have suspected). Keep up the excellent writing, Keith.

DanielMohn posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 7:09pm

> Ragnok raised an eyebrow. "You
> could make the law so that the
> group of you could cavort naked in
> Diagon Alley," he said, his own
> eyes twinkling.
>
> "Wouldn't that be a kcker?" Harry
> asked. "Wouldn't be fair to the
> ladies, though, and I don't need
> hate mail because I'm proving that
< I married the four sexiest women
> in all Europe."

Oh ... i don't think that there would be so much hate mail. Most people find the concept of 4 naked shemales rather disgusting. I'm one of them. And I really don't know, why you are writing "about" something like that (even if you are only mentioning it), if you're not "a big fan" yourself. I think it is completely superfluous to tell this tale. Even as a "proof of concept" it's not really appropriate, because of the conflicting nature, even if Hermione would give it a try because of her curiosity.

The same goes for Hermione and Ben Franklin. I find the thought highly disturbing that Hermione could, would and is "permitted" to fuck with a 300 year old shrivelled perv. I think it is highly OOC, too!

I really don't know, if I want to continue reading something like that. And I mean it. I really don't know! The problem is, that I'm a little fan of your writing since Family Matters, but you are adjusting your border of good taste (in my opinion) to the worst ever since. I think, it started with the epilogue in Family Matters. But that one I could ignore. Now it is in the story and it is harder to ignore.

I really don't know why you're making your stories more complicated then they are and why you are constricting your original target group (because I think that is it what you are doing) with something like that (concept of shemales, Hermione fucking with other guys, slash in other stories).

Don't get me wrong. You can write what you want. And I don't want to sound too harsh, but this it what I feel.

It's hard for me to continue reading stories of yours, if you're diving deeper and deeper in the abyss of human sexuality.

I know ... I know what some people are thinking know. Don't like it, don't read it! But I wanted to tell you, why I stopped reading (if I'm really going to quit). Maybe you are interested in the reasons.

Greetings
Daniel

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 6:25pm

*chuckle* Nothing like connections to get you the ear(s) of the right people.

Oh, minor typo nitpick:

...because see could slide...

should be

...because she could slide...



*wicked chuckle* I'd gathered that Hermione had learned a futanari spell from the description in the story; that could make a "different" illustration. I'm not a big fan of it either, though I've seen some well done manga or dojinishi works in that genre.

jilumasam posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 5:24pm

Now this is really starting to pick up pace. Love the twists and turns you come up with.

Waits impatiently for the next chapter!

Beau Wolff posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 5:17pm

The peasants aren't revolting, they're actually quite sweet.

I'm enjoying where this is going, Kinsfire, and I'm looking forward to seeing more. Not to mention Hermione's next experience with (*cough*) an American greenback. ;)

Tanaxanth posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 4:51pm

The Next Orgy? :)

Magnificent the Destroyer Lord posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 4:46pm

Hmm... the founder of U.S.A. and the Declaration of Independence are nice touches. Interesting story - please keep it up.

M*T*D*L*

RoseKelly1021 posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 3:10pm

Hey Kins,
That was interesting. I enjoyed it and loved the comparesion. I would love to hear how this chapter worked out in your mind. Wonderfully done!
Kelly

imakeeper posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 1:19pm

i dont know if combining magical and muggle worlds together is a good idea.. maybe like a big brother little brother system could slowly educate some individuals like muggleborns and slowly incorportate muggles to work in the magical world but something drastic will prob result in another civil war

potterfrkintx posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 9:45am

awesome chapter!! Loved how you used Franklin. Totally cool. Keep up the good work.

JD posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 9:39am

not sure if you will have made this point moot since I haven't read the new chapter yet, but regarding the finger, couldn't they have cut it off her, then given her a potion to regrow it?? that way it works all around...

Colpinky posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 7:04am

I've been a reader of this story, and the previous one for a while. I love what you are doing, and Benjamin Franklin making an appearance is cool. Keep up the good work.

Stephen Mann posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 6:09am

Heh, as an American, and a former history teacher who taught the American Revolution, I'm pleased to see History used to make a point in popular fiction.

To me, history is a wonderful story told by generally boring people. Making it relevant makes it interesting, and hopefully will make the readers realize what a fascinating story they have access to.

Viridian posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 5:26am

"The Perfect Storm"?

When you gave the age as 300, I sort of guessed about old Ben, and he was the closest I could see to being a wizard - a very nice touch.

Is Franklin as revered in England? Or is Hermione just a special Franklin Fan-girl?

Kinsfire replied:

Franklin is accepted as a major diplomat throughout Europe. The English weren't happy with him, for obvious reasons, but he still was considered an impressive man. (THe French have several families that proudly admit that they trace from illegitimate children of his.)

As for Hermione? He's LIVING history, and a lot more interesting than Binns every could be. (And probably STILL as randy as hell...*laugh*)

DJ posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 4:40am

Bravo Keep it up.

Ken Warner posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 3:25am

thanks so much for making history come alive so well - I guessed Mr. Franklin, nice to get it right for once and I love the way you had Harry discover the Declaration of Independence. It is interesting as someone who grew up in the States, yet lived for extended periods overseas to see how little our theoretical system of government and history is understood.
Can't wait to see where you are going with this, but the canon Scrimgeour seems a good analog for old syphilitic King George III.

The Resident posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 2:18am

An excellent chapter. I like the Declaration of Independence quote. We have that choice, in one way or another, every year. We don't overturn it all at once, but we can make changes every year and keep working at it until the changes that are needed come to pass. It is unfortunate that there those so unconcerned as to not use the franchise that so many fought and died for.

P.S. The sex wasn't bad either. -grin-

Keep up the great work.

Crys posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 2:04am

> Pansy's swelling belly held a child fathered by Hermione.
*blink* *shudder* I'll pretend I didn't read that . . .

Oh, Harry. Flooding the area with magic at that moment? You're about to be the father of a couple of super magicians. Either that or a couple litters/schools/flocks/multiple-births of super magicians.

That "sloshing" line was pretty good, btw.

> Benjamin Franklin
*choking laughter* Oh, that's just priceless!

Hmm, nobody pointed it out, but Ol' Ben there was rebelling against the British . . . Not like it matters to Harry et al, but I'd think at least Benjamin would make a joke of it.

Fun chapter.

Jamie46 posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 1:26am

I *LIKE* it! :-D That was really great. Wonderful how Umbridge and Scrimgeour played right into their hands (of a sort). I can't believe Franklin was a wizard. ;) That'd be so cool. And using the Declaration? Brilliant. Very appropriate, too. You merged that very nicely. Sooo looking forward to the next chapter! :-D